Update

I didn't want it bad enough. I thought I did, but I didn't. I have to push myself to get where I need to be.

I get to thinking about getting in "prime" shape. I like the term prime. Great things are prime. Prime real estate, prime rib, Optimus Prime, back when I was in my prime.

I realized the other day I never had a prime. 17-30 went in a blur with nothing great to show for it. I look up one day and I'm a fat, bald, and way out of shape. If I get into shape, it will be the closest to a prime I've ever had.

I'm okay with that.

I changed my name when I got my BA because I feel like a new person and I felt the ties to my old life were holding me down. There are more reasons too, but we won't go there now.

I don't know how long it will take to get where I need to be to meet my goals, but I know it took a lifetime of bad choices to get here and it will have to be a lifestyle change to get away from it.

How bad do you want it.

My mantra from college is revisited. Failure is not an option. Now I add: "How bad do you want it?".

It's cold outside and I'm weary. That's a long 3 miles to run. Yeah? How bad do you want it? Now in this job market, there are many people who want it as bad as I do and they are in a much better position to take the prize. I have to make myself stand out among the masses. How bad do you want it?

I have 9 weeks to prove I want it more than anyone there. I started hard, I finished week one strong. I didn't miss a workout or skimp a corner. I must do my best. Tomorrow is a new week. Week 2.

Chapter 2 update

The next part of my saga has been hard to want to write. I think that's because it deals with a lot of failure and me not knowing where to go from there.

I'm thinking I really want to get into writing again, so I'm going to try to do daily updates to stretch out my mind. I'll break it up into bits of relevance and try not to flail and ramble aimlessly.

Yesterday, I started my serious 10 - week workout. 3 times a week. Goal? Be able to run 3 miles, be able to do 50 + push ups and sit ups. Losing weight is not a goal at this point, fitness is.

Why now? I am going to do a tryout for a local police department. At 35 years old, I'm in steep competition. I have guys 10 years younger, former and current athletes, former military, and people who have previously taken police training. Current and former officers are going to get the nod before me. I know this. I have a college education that screams "I love Law Enforcement". I have work ethic most 20-somethings won't have. I look like the guy who's going in for his last career. If I can train now to get the above the level of fitness they want to see, I'm going in with a fighting chance.