I guess age is sneaking up on me. I notice I'm getting wrinkles, the kids I'm getting at school I knew their parents when I was in school. I'm usually the "old guy" in the classes at GC. How did I let time get past me so quickly?
One year lost is a shame, but I feel like I've wasted 12 years of my life. I have nothing to show for my entire adult life.....nothing. I want the same things everybody else wants. A nice, relatively normal life. I want someone to come home to other than my over-dramatic pet cat. I want to have weekend trips, dinners out...Hell, I'd love to have a few nice dinners IN.
Damn, why didn't I try harder when I was younger?
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
check, please?
I'm sick of school already, college and work. I have an A and a B, but the other one has no grade yet, so I feel I'm doing well, I'm just so tired. I should probably working on my botany stuff. I have the midterm exam in a few weeks and it promises to be a tough one. I don't know if I'm prepared. I feel great about my first lab report and I actually enjoy them. The hands-on helps the awkward terms sink in.
My workouts have suffered because of school. I still exercise and I'm making progress, but my odd schedule makes keeping up a healthy diet and regular workouts hard. I was going to start eating the school salads, but they have no mayo-free dressings and I no longer have a fridge to keep any, so there I am.
The truck is so close to completion, I can barely stand it. To make the interior look as decent as the exterior, I'll need about $500 worth of work to it. I need it to be road worthy. I have alot of junk to haul off.
I don't know what's up with the gaming group, we haven;'t been able to play in close to a month, but I have enjoyed my alternate plans. I think I'd almost rather it not re-commence for now, I just don't want to be the one to do it.
On the car front, I've had to put a door, brake lines and tires on my car. I'm pretty much Doby's indentured servant right now, seeing as how I had to charge everything to the store.
I guess the thing that really has me down is that I'm just not satisfied with work, life, or myself in general. It's like I'm on a set path to an unknown journey and I'm not even sure if it's worth the effort. My journey towards self-fufillment seems to be so stressful and my be costing me more than I'm wanting to pay.
My workouts have suffered because of school. I still exercise and I'm making progress, but my odd schedule makes keeping up a healthy diet and regular workouts hard. I was going to start eating the school salads, but they have no mayo-free dressings and I no longer have a fridge to keep any, so there I am.
The truck is so close to completion, I can barely stand it. To make the interior look as decent as the exterior, I'll need about $500 worth of work to it. I need it to be road worthy. I have alot of junk to haul off.
I don't know what's up with the gaming group, we haven;'t been able to play in close to a month, but I have enjoyed my alternate plans. I think I'd almost rather it not re-commence for now, I just don't want to be the one to do it.
On the car front, I've had to put a door, brake lines and tires on my car. I'm pretty much Doby's indentured servant right now, seeing as how I had to charge everything to the store.
I guess the thing that really has me down is that I'm just not satisfied with work, life, or myself in general. It's like I'm on a set path to an unknown journey and I'm not even sure if it's worth the effort. My journey towards self-fufillment seems to be so stressful and my be costing me more than I'm wanting to pay.
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