make-believe

I guess I'm in a mood today. Tomorrow, I play D&D with my gaming group. I used to look forward to it, but I haven't for awhile. I guess I'm tired of playing pretend about so many things. I'm trying to clean up and I just don't give a damn. My real life is so much more interesting. I'm on the adventure of my life. These days it just feels like Hell. I look to the future and hope, but there is little more to make of any of it. All this work for hope. I guess this would be a great time to have faith, but I don't. I'm wearing myself down to the nub for the hope of a better tomorrow. A whole year of this seems almost cruel. And after this, I still get to go to school for more classes for the next two or three years after that. Then will I get that small piece of a dream? Can I make it all happen? 32 shouldn't feel this tired and worn out. July 09.......still heading that way, but damn, it feels so slow now.