really big day

Tommorow I go to college to "check in". I basicly sign away the next two years of free time for a chance at a better future. I also have to get a tetnus shot to update my immunization records. Lucky me. They are free tomorrow at the check in. I'm not even sure how I feel.

Went to visit the ranger today. They were actually working on it and it only looks like a matter of time before they are done with the actual bodywork. I'm actually looking forward to seeing the finished product. The wheels I wanted are already on it and they had since completed the wreck damage removal. I want to see it all together.

dark days ahead

I'm starting to watch my calories. A guy my size that works out as much as I do can consume roughly 3500 - 3700 calories a day and maintain weight, so to lose pounds, I need to consume fewer calories and make healthy choices for most of my meals. For the most part, I've done pretty good this week. I did poorly last night. I'm not going to be in "awesome" shape before school starts, but if I keep the current regiment up, I'll be close to 200 lbs before Christmas.

Between here and Christmas, I have my first semester at Guilford College. I'll be going 3 nights a week and I'll still be working full time for the school, part time at the gas station. I'm exhausted just thinking about what needs to be done.

I had a dream last night. The guy who said he was going to give me a chunk of his lottery winnings came through. I went to some generic casino somewhere that gambling is obviously legal, took a third of what he gave me and made a small fortune out of it. I wasn't able to live like a king, but it was enough to do everything I wanted to do and have enough cash left over to be comfortable. I wish I could interpret that into something meaningful. I can only assume it means some risk will be involved in the days ahead.

Life can be a gamble, to get the big prizes, you must take the big risks. So many parts of my life are up in the air and where will I be when this is over?