fear is the mind-killer

For the first time, I'm starting to doubt some of the "good" choices I've made. I work right at 60 hours a week and make just enough to barely get by. I'm so sick of being broke all the time. It seems as though any treat I give myself is too expensive and causes a sacrifice somewhere else. My car is garbage. The truck I've been doting over is garbage. I'm sick of it all. Yesterday I wanted to watch tv....no cable. My computer is a borrowed one. Springs are starting to poke out of my mattress.

I realize that at some point my life seems to revolve around doing without and finding way to work more and make do with nothing.

If you can't tell, I'm frustrated. I know my plan would take a few years to come to any positive results, but I figured working my self half to death and not having much of any kind of luxuries would yeild some measure of financial comfort. But no, I struggle every month, even when I don't "splurge". I might have to give up this career path. I can't exist off what I'm being paid. I'm just sick of going through life feeling like I'm spinning my wheels in the mud.

To put it bluntly, something's going to have to give, because this s**t ain't working anymore.

a hard fought victory

After a few months of planning and only a few hours of tinkering, my truck now runs. I don't like the way the tranny shifts rough, and there are no tail lights, but it is mechanically driveable. The problem was a very simple fix, but it took alot of experimenting to repair it. Next, I'll fix all the minor issues and make it road-ready. After I'm 100% sure it's mechanically sound, I'll start the "creature comfort" part of repairing it.

I feel like crap today. I'm half sick.