tired

I know I don't exactly physically exert myself too much, but the strain of trying to accomplish what I am doing is mentally exhausting. All this classwork and school and work. I am burning out and I'm glad I'm so close to the end. I'll need some time at a much slower pace before I do this again. I keep telling myself it will all be worth it soon, but not soon enough.

I try to make the most of my situation, but right now it just seems like an endless struggle for nothing and I'm getting tired of fighting.

wild week

Fall Semester ends next week. I'm in a good spot to make all B's. I need a few week to cool off the brain before the Hellish Spring term begins. It has kicked my ass, but I'm better for it.

I've lost 19 pounds as of this week. I'll be at ~30 lost by the start of Spring Semester. If all goes well, by Summer, I'll be under 200 for the first time in 15 years. I could reasonably be 180 by next school year. Cool.

I need to rebuild my home gym. I can no longer justify spending money on a gym membership I can not use regularly. I want to rejoin at a later date, just not now.

I'm so close to finishing my five-year plan. Upon completion, I'll do a little soul searching, see where I'm at, and start the next five year plan. I already have a few ideas....

so much stuff....

I have done so much this past week.

I had Thanksgiving in Allentown PA with Robyn's relatives. We walked around neighborhoods with mansions to burn off pumpkin pie. There were houses so big, it took several minutes to walk past them. I'd never seen such houses in my life in person. Her family up North are good people.

We went to Syracuse to visit more of her relatives. I had the best steak I've ever eaten. I want another one right now!!! Her Uncle was the cook/ owner in the restaurant. I can't stomach the prices up there. But wow the hospitality! Everything seems to work together better up North.

Maybe I'm just crazy, but the everything seemed better. The food was tasty, the people didn't drive like idiots, and the landscape and homes were beautiful. Too bad the job market is harsh.

I came home to sleepy NC and it was just ugly. The people were ugly, the food tasted bland, people drove like they had a death wish, and everything looked trashy.

Despite eating like a pig all weekend, I still lost weight! I think exercise is the key for me. I get good results when I'm moving, so I'll have to set up better exercise times for myself.

I'm settling into a solid "B" in all my classes, I wanted A's, but it's still nothing to be ashamed of considering my responsibilities.

updated....

The Dig for Forensic Anthropology is tomorrow, looking forward to that....not really. I'm really starting to wear down from this schedule I've put myself on and next semester will be the hardest yet. Summer will be a breeze, and I'll be done.

I'm making great progress on my weight loss. If I can't get time to "gym up", I'll have to try to "home gym up". For the price of membership, I could re-make my home gym. Pity, I really like going to the gym and I feel bad when I can't make it. It just seems like it refuses to fit into my current schedule.

I'm actively trying to trade the Cadillac for a Jeep. I've always liked Jeeps, perhaps I'll just Craigslist it and get something I could and would use.

I've discovered that despite myself, I am at best a "B" student. This is nothing to sneeze at, but I'm still only good for a "B" average. I hope I am above average in the remainder of my endeavors. That is still quite good. In fact, I think I've never been excellent at anything, just above average.

Everything is going as planned, and I'm well on course for July '08. Eight months and counting.....

The to do list.

I have a list of things I want to do in my life. Not really goals, just things I'd like to do.

1. I want to write a book.
2. I want to build a custom motorcycle.
3. I want to build a hotrod pickup.
4. I want to become athletic again.
5. I want to do some aspect of my career so well that I become renown for it.
6. I want to travel.

steady progress

I'm down to 245 today. I've lost 15 pounds so far.
I still can't get to the gym like I should and that's a shame since I really enjoy it.
I hate to sound like a testimonial, but weight watchers really works, because it's not a diet, you eat what you should have been eating all along and lose it very gradually, so your body doesn't feel like its starving and you don't go mad with cravings.

While you don't have to deprive yourself, you do have to make choices as to what's best for your health. Do you want a pile of cheese fries or do you want to have a body you can show off at the pool? You want a flat belly or a whole box of candy? Personally, I know what I want.

I've been averaging 2.5, but my first two weeks were dramatic, as most new eating patterns are. I pretty sure I'll start averaging 1 or 2 a week before long....still good.





Starting: 260
Current: 245
Goal: 200 (maybe less, first things first)

tired

I'm just plain old running out of steam. I need a break from classes to recharge my batteries.

results not typical.....

I love the heart felt testimonials of people who went on a diet and lost a metric ton of weight. They have the horrid, miserable before pictures followed by the incredible after shots. The same is true of weight lifting supplements. I lost 45 lbs!!!*


*results not typical


Ever wonder why "results not typical" if this new way is the greatest thing since god invented the Earth? Makes me wonder too. I have a theory and it goes like this: The typical person is too lazy to commit to what is necessary to achieve exactly what they want, so they settle for less than they want.

Everything in life worth achieving demands some sacrifice.

sad week for losers

I only lost one stinkin' pound! I have to control my weekend eating much better. A night of Chili's and of fried seafood is bad for the belly. 13 pounds is still nothing too shabby, I just want more. The way I'm doing it, however, is the healthiest and most sustainable way.

I know right now that when I get to a skinny weight, I'll have stretchy belly flab, and I don't know how I feel about that. Oh well, I guess I'll wear layers.

feeling better all the time

I've been dieting for 3 weeks and so far, so good. Next weigh-in is tomorrow morning. I'm hoping my exercise offsets two nights of being bad. I should still be ok, especially if I keep it tight today.(I have)

I've given up redbulls as a morning drink. Yes, they give you wings, and then you crash like Icarus. I've started with a B-12 supplement in the morning. As of right now, wow what a difference!

BTW the Texas Cheesefries at Chili's has more fat and calories that a person my size should eat in two days! beware.

a gym? what's that?

I've not been working out regularly since I got sick last March. I've pretty much flushed all the progress I made away. Now that I'm losing weight, I'll be losing muscle too. If I want that trend to stop, I need to act yesterday. I've been naturally strong for most of my adult life, I don't want to be a skinny weakling. So, I must make it a poit to get back into a gym routine.

How to tell when things are going great.

I have time to write in my blog that nobody reads.

good times....

Life isn't too perfect at the moment, but I realized:
1. I'm gainfully employed.
2. I'm in college bettering myself.
3. I'm losing weight on a diet.
4. I'm in a very strong relationship.
5. There is a point very soon where I'll be pulling out of some of this hardship.

I'm doing great these days.

Biggest Loser update:

Last week was dismal. I only lost 2 pounds. So I knew I had to watch myself on days where I could splurge. My main issues is portion control, meaning I eat too much too fast and I wind up blowing it big time. I've worked on eating out skills this week, I did pretty good. Roby and I went to Outback and had a great dinner. I had the bread, a salad, a 9oz fillet w/mushrooms, a baked potato, and split a dessert with Robyn. How did I do it? That would have blown a whole weeks' diet! I ate 2 small pieces of the bread, I ate the whole salad, I drank diet soda, I ate half the steak and potato and about 1/3 of that awesome dessert. I also ate very light that day before. I exercised portion control and took home steak and potatoes for dinner the next night! I lost 4 pounds this week.I took some before pictured too, so I can show off my after.


Starting 260
Goal 195
Current 248

Going strong. I want to march for my degree in skinny clothes.

a hard heart

I tend not to feel too sorry for the downtrodden. There are some that have nearly-unbelievable bad luck, but most tend to be people who are more content wallowing in misery than to work for better circumstances. I know because I used to be one of them.

I've worked in kitchens, delivered pizza, ran the register at a few convenience stores, all the while miserable with my condition. What did I do? I assigned blame everywhere but where it truly belonged...with me.

I didn't go to school, I didn't eat right, I didn't do what I was supposed to when I was supposed to. Period. End of story. And there you have the seldom recognized formula for failure. It's easy to do nothing when the person who is at fault for your undoing is not you. You can't change them, you can't succeed.

Then what are we to do? It seems so hopeless, we should just give up, right? And there you are, a downtrodden "victim" of society.

But what if you realize that you have to change to change your situation? You realize that and you actually do something to change, then what? You break your back playing catch up and learn that change for the better is hard, but worth it.

Now, at nearly the end of my first 5-year plan. I graduate from college in 9 months, I'm on a diet and I've already lost 8 lbs. I can't change every one else, but I've done a lot to change myself and now I can't go back, or should I say I don't want to.

Pennsylvania

I don't get out too much, but this past weekend I went with Robyn and her parents to Allentown, PA. I honestly don't care to travel, but I had fun anyway.

We went to Robyn's cousin's wedding reception. He married a woman from Bulgaria both are going to be very successful. It was nice. We stayed in her Aunt's house with several people visiting from all over. One brought his giant iguana that was pretty much free-ranging the house. Made me want to try to grow another one, but not now anyway.

They were nice people, Allentown seemed a very nice place with lots of character. I came back and this whole place looks tired and ugly. Everywhere I saw run down everything that looks like nobody even cares a little bit. The minute I got back into NC, people were just plain old rude. Now I know why people with out-of-state tags fly past on the highway; they can't wait to get the Hell out.

I can't blame them now.

How did I do it?

After a week of fast food, no exercise, and general gluttony; I still managed to squeak out 2 pounds of weight loss. I'm amazed and disappointed at the same time. That could have easily been a 5+ pound week. Every trip to the fast food drive through, every second dip into the buffet is that much longer I have to stay in a shape that I'm ashamed of. That alone should discourage me. On the other hand, if I don't treat myself some, it's just setting myself up to fail.

That being said, I could care less what the scale says. I'm a somewhat muscled person (not muscular) and I'd not have it any other way. I'm not going to weigh the same as a person with no strength. I want the thin face and narrow waist and I want to feel good. Since I got myself fat enough cause stretch marks, I'll never look 100% the way I'd wish I could, but I knew that when I first saw them and kept stuff my face.

We work with what we have.

Start 260
Goal 200
Current 252

bad day

I managed to mess up all of my vehicles this week to the point that I am wheel-less for the moment. Does that upset me? A little. I'm frustrated, but there's nothing that can't be fixed in the ammount of time I have and nothing is too expensive, so I'm good.

Sometimes you have to look at the blessings, or the good stuff if you prefer. I'm doing great on my diet, I was the biggest loser for my team last week, my grades are all good, I've not gotten behind on anything important. Life is good, despite one bad day.

Biggest Loser - middle school edition

Well, we had our first check-in, and I lost 6 lbs. That makes me the biggest loser! Actually, being the lowest paid person here and the only fat guy working here makes me the biggest loser.

Either way, I joined weight watchers last week in hopes that it would show me the way. As of right now, I'm not disappointed. I know that to maintain a healthy weight, I must maintain a healthy lifestyle. This is the part I must learn. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, my whole life is changing around me and I'm ready to change too.

Starting - 260
Current - 254
Goal - 200

Senior 60

I have a kind of twist to the freshman 15. I'm border lining morbidly obese and something has got to give. I'm doing the senior 60. I want to lose at least 60 lbs before I graduate.

My school (where I work) is doing a "biggest loser" contest in the vein of the TV show. I joined up and I'm the only man in it. I'm also the only guy in wretched shape in the school. I tend to be a very competitive person and thought this would be the perfect motivation to do get it done.

I have decided to get organized with it. I'm going back to the gym starting today, and I've joined weight watchers. I like structure and I've realized I can't do it without it. Mainly, because I never learned how to eat healthy.

Current weight: 260 lbs.
Current goal: 200 lbs.

Timespan: ~8 months

Let the fun begin