a hard heart

I tend not to feel too sorry for the downtrodden. There are some that have nearly-unbelievable bad luck, but most tend to be people who are more content wallowing in misery than to work for better circumstances. I know because I used to be one of them.

I've worked in kitchens, delivered pizza, ran the register at a few convenience stores, all the while miserable with my condition. What did I do? I assigned blame everywhere but where it truly belonged...with me.

I didn't go to school, I didn't eat right, I didn't do what I was supposed to when I was supposed to. Period. End of story. And there you have the seldom recognized formula for failure. It's easy to do nothing when the person who is at fault for your undoing is not you. You can't change them, you can't succeed.

Then what are we to do? It seems so hopeless, we should just give up, right? And there you are, a downtrodden "victim" of society.

But what if you realize that you have to change to change your situation? You realize that and you actually do something to change, then what? You break your back playing catch up and learn that change for the better is hard, but worth it.

Now, at nearly the end of my first 5-year plan. I graduate from college in 9 months, I'm on a diet and I've already lost 8 lbs. I can't change every one else, but I've done a lot to change myself and now I can't go back, or should I say I don't want to.