New Wilson's Dictonary

I found some funnies I'm going to add a few of my own.




Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Deja Poo: the act of cutting wind in you own car, getting out, coming back and the gassy smell is still there.

Dr Pibb: Robyn's favorite drink, at least she seems to order it alot at late night dive throughs when she's really tired.

Hypochristians: the "holier than thou" type that judges and criticizes you, but they are not exactly angels themselves.

Prostitots: underage girls that dress like whores.

Dubcaps: The trashy-ass hubcaps designed to look like trashy-ass rims.

Thug Lite: when privleged white kids act like they're from the ghetto.

Feel free to come up with your own.

anticipation

I'll find out in an hour or so if the junkyard carb will fix my Honda. I'm in the hole right now, financially. A car problem was the last thing I needed during this "thin summer". I'll have to "limp along" to keep up my bills.

grilling, the primal connection.........

I love charcoal grilling. Almost everyone I know loves it. It tastes better, there seems to be an almost ritualistic art to the whole process. There is no written formula to the cookout, but they all seem to go the same routethere is a decent amount of foods, great cuts of meat, salad, alcohol, music, and merry-making. I can imagine in primal times, the hunter would bring in the food and when there was luscious meat, it was a call for celebration. They would dance and rejoice while the food was being prepared, then the stories of the hunt and of the elders and great times past. All would eat their fill and be done.

The hunter is now the host/cook and everyone listens to music, tells jokes, and stories. I think it is ingrained into us. It is a throwback to what we once were; before supermarkets, and electricity, our lifestyle is new, speaking historically. We've only been away from wood fire cooking for about 100 years or less. And most parts of the civilized word only cook and heat with fire out of novelty, not necessity.

Somewhere back in the deepest recesses of who we are, there is that primal creature. The hunter, the survivor, the thing that kicks in from time to time. The one that knows what to do when everything falls apart. Ingrained within our very being, he see sees that big, raw steak and knows what to do. He knows how to make it good.........

The fire.

diet

One of the things I'm going to start this week is my diet. I'm going back on Atkins. The only thing I found difficult is it is hard to plan my meals during school & working two jobs. I had planned to go back on it halfway through last school year, but I was too busy with burning houses and such. Not to mention, my folks have a horrible concept of what food is, and I couldn't eat healthy at all. I really enjoyed Atkins-stlye eating. All the rich, flavorful food, and as much as I wanted. The down side is the loss of bread, pasta, and sweets, but the only real downfall was sweets. I have a sweet tooth from hell. The good news is that with this diet, if I maintain well, I can have an occasional treat after the first few weeks. Not to mention I'm quite fond of diet root beer floats with low carb ice cream. MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm.

I'm re-dedicating myself to housework today. By the time I go to bed tonight, my house will be very clean, it's not bad now, but I want it better. Something about people making a surprise visit and the reaction is "hot damn!", not "god damn!" makes me feel good.

I feel the same connection to my health, I want people to think "hot damn, he takes care of himself" not "god damn he looks bad". The bad part is, I don't feel terribly unhealthy, but 240lbs puts alot of strain on my knees and ankles. And I know how much better I felt, so there.

everything's gonna be alright....

Found a junker car out in the boondocks that matches my honda and the guy will sell me the carb off of it for 60 & warranty it. Now I just have to get by tail out there and remove it myself. And therein lies the real challenge.

Robyn has told me I can loan some cash to make a down payment on a "real car". My best bet is a half-dead '97 ranger a block from my house at a used car lot. I have no Idea how it runs, but it is a high-milage truck, even by my standards, but if was decently maintained, it could be a good choice. I need a pickup badly.

The rotten news is that Robyn's can needs a flywheel. She's fed up with the car and I can't say I blame her. It's an '86 maxima with 217000 miles on it. To make the thing 100% again it needs:
tune-up - 50
flywheel - 300-ish
struts - 400-ish
re-alignment - 60-100-ish
(optional) ac repair - 200-ish
In the ballpark of $1000 to keep a $500 car running.

Now, I think that with all those repairs, she could get a good bit o' that cash back by driving it untill tax-time next year and getting something new. The car has starting huffing a little smoke sporatically, but doesn't have an engine knock at all. And a fresh oil change might help a bit of that, it's come due but the oil plug has been stripped out and I haven't had the time to play with it.

I must be in for some good luck, or perhaps it's karma? Was I a despot in my previous life?

luck & karma & such

A few months ago, I was joking about how my truck burned up, my house burned up and since I'm still here and going, I figured things would be looking up soon. Now my Honda needs a new carb on it. The one on it is too far gone to be salvaged. I have gone crashing past my comfort zone and now I have to borrow money to get my car on the road. The tragic part is that it is just small enough of an amount that it is worth fixing, but much more and I should just get another car. I think there is more life left to it, I just have to get past the "used and abused" damage and get it back on track.

Even as the price is bad enough, my real problem is that no body can get the part to me untill Wendsday.

Screwed

My 85 Honda obviously has a major problem. The guy I tend to trust as a mechanic has had it for 3 days to rebuild the carbuerator on it. I have seen this guy rebuild an engine in a day or less and right now he can't get my car straight. I'm supposed to work tonight at pizza, but Hell, no car, no work. If he can't finish by today....I'm screwed. I'll most likely get fired.

irony

I want to be creative, make a web-comic, a haloween costume, a good blog entry.....SOMETHING. Alas, I have found I cannot be clever on command. I will admit to wanting to do a web comic, I just don't seem to have the ability to relate witty commentary with art. I might try to do a few and post them to see how they do. I will be posting some social commentary very soon on my other blog. Lotta crap I have a strong opinion on happening these days.

My old high school buddy Nathan is in town for a few days. With Paul living in Burlington, we've gotten together a few times. This is the first time we've all been together in about 10 years. We need to get a picture together before he heads for the rapids in WV. I covet his pickup. Wish we had more time, but I'm busy, Paul's busy,and Nate is trying to score a new job on the East coast. Time is a precious commodity.

I'm maintaining the house, finally got another washer & dryer, that seems to be going well so far.
Over the next week, I need to organize my back porch and get the yard sale ready. However, I did repair one of my phone lines. Now I have and easily accessible jack yay me.

My car is out of commission, temporarily I hope. This is going out of my expenditure comfort-zone to repair it. Not fixing it will ruin me.

I'm eager to see if I do well this summer on limited funds. This will prove to me if I can exist megerly while I finish my BA. Must finish school, teachers don't get paid much, but it's a damn sure sight better than my current income. Only working one job & having Summers off would be heaven for me.

Alright, now I must sleep.

House

My favorite topic of late. I've been lazy, but not terribly so. The house is not getting messy, I just haven't been as strongly set on accomplishing any goals the past week or so. That will change as soon as I finish writing this. I'll go work on my back porch.
I bought a new printer this past week and have yet to install it, just to give you an idea of how lax I've been.
I'm supposed to get my washer & dryer tomorrow. I'm excited. Once everthing is installed, I'll go to work on my laundy/storage room. I've been planning a yard sale for two weeks, nothing yet.

I bought some more lottery tickets Saturday I had a scratch off ticket that won me $15, too bad it was a $10 ticket. I might go back next week and try again. I'm not silly, I know the odds. It's still fun. I like to buy a ticket and drive back, usually with Robyn and talk about everything we will do when we get rich. Sometimes I think she thinks we have a better chance of winning than I actually do, maybe she's right. Only thing I know about the lottery is :
a. I like playing.
b. People do win.
c. You gotta be in it to win it.
d. I dropped more money on dumber things.

So what the hell, right? You won't roll your eyes if I win. If you still do, what will I care? I'll be rich!

It's the end of the world as I know it...I feel tired...

Well damn. The news has been facinating as of late. Paul turned me onto Fark, that makes it even better. It seems like the winds of change are a blowin'.

Michael Jackson was found not guilty. If you didn't know that, you have not not been introduced to the formula.

Rich + famous = aquittal.

Let's go over a few:
Snoop Dogg
O.J.
Charlie Chaplain
Fatty Arbuckle
Robert Blake
Kobe Bryant

The only person who didn't see thier life crash & burn after the fact was Snoop, but being actually accused of being a thug and a murderer is a good thing when you are a gangster-rapper.

Another thing was this horrible losing streak of Mike Tyson's. I remember when he was a one punch monster. A monster, not even human, a predator....or was he? When I was a pre-teen, I knew boxers were tough, I knew nothing about "past his prime". I saw Tyson crush people with impressive ring credentials. I didn't realize they were mostly all wash-ups who's haydays were 10+ years prior and looking for one last paycheck.

I remeber George Foreman making a comeback and thinking: "Wow! This old guy is showing up a lot of younger people." A very hopeful, encouraging tale. Then Tyson vs. Foreman...what if? There were to fight but Tyson backed out of the fight. I used to think Tyson would have killed Foreman quickly. Now I'm not too sure. Foreman was hard to drop. I saw Evander Holifield break Foreman down and unloaded a can of whoopass that would have and did drop Tyson years later. George didn't fall. Foreman has a slow clobbering punch vs Tyson's fast "haymaker".

The thing that decides it for me is toughness. Foreman at 45 had more in-ring stamina and a harder jaw than Tyson ever had. Tyson never stood toe to toe with a person who was able to take a good shot. And tyson has a glass jaw.

And maybe all Tyson ever had was hype. Hell, I beat Tyson a few times......on "Punch Out! ". For the 9 million he got paid, I'd fight him tonight. Yeah, Yeah, I'd get my ass handed to me, but 9 mil buys alot physical therapy.

I don't have tv at home, I waste enough time on the computer. When I look I get depressed. Who the Hell is Paris Hilton and why does anyone care?
You know, I personally don't give a damn about the personal lives of the rich and famous. I like movies, and listen to music. I really don't want to see the "reality". The reality is they are a pretty screwed up lot and it'll make you sick to know that they are usually no better than anyone else. My idea of entertainment is an escape. I wan't to see beauty, I want to be moved and inspired. I don't wan't to see Ozzy Osbourne swear at his kids for 20 minutes.

house-mania

So far so good. I tend to keep a good hold on my messes, therefore my house tends to always look somewhat presntable. I have to start up the improvement work again. I must have it 100% to my liking.

I'm going back on my diet from last year. I haven't gained all the weight back, but damn-near. I'll get used to the trend now while I'm at home more and start preparing my lunches when I go back to school. mmmmmmmmmmmm meat. While I'm on that kick, I'll also be exercising. Nothing like a good sweaty workout to build muscle that will in turn burn more fat. I can do itI just might do a few "before" pics to keep myself focused. I fit nicely in a 2x t-shirt. At one pointy in my adult life, I could do a medium and it looked nice. that was 8 inches in my waist ago. I don't think I can get there, I just don't want to be "here". My knees and ankles are pretty screwed, so I'll have to start soft and slow, no deadlifts and squats (my secret to being 155) If I could get to 180 with decent muscle tone, I'd be pretty stoked. More to come......

Log Lag

I've had no time to write. I've been spending a ton of time away from home. And even now I'm too tired to put anything good down. I just wanted my fans to know I'd not given up the blogging, it will resume soon.

My crappy job.

I work part time in the evenings at a Domino's Pizza. Overall, I hate the job. The job itself is Hell on a car, the manager is a bipolar/ junkie with serious personal issues. Last night was my turn in the barrel, so to speak, and I almost quit. I don't like being yelled at, being called a liar, or threatened. I was ready to walk and by the time I came back and decided to leave and she had changed her tone. I was still steaming mad.

I learned early on to very careful what I say and do, because once it's out there you can't take it back. She makes a regular habit of making a complete ass of herself and I'm not too sure that if this Domino's thing ever ends for her she may have a fall that she will never recover from. She's not a decent person or a good manager.

That was a week ago.

She's still an ass, but now school is over. I'm sitting in an empty classroom. This is a very pleasant place to be when there's no kids around.
I have three days to clean up and head out. During this time, I must get my plans for ISS done for next year. I wish this job paid more, but I'm so happy here. I feel like I belong for the first time in a very long time.

The past three days have been pure Hell outside of school. My folks had me help them set posts for a fence, I had to work, I've had little sleep, and I have yet to do anything more to my house. I have new furniture and can't stay at home long enough to enjoy it. I just finished Robyn's brakes, they were in awful shape, but they got finished. Almost every muscle in my body aches, and I have not benefitted at all for this pain. I have got to get into shape.

It's a true shame when you don't feel like you belong in your personal life and you feel like you belong in your professional life. I come to work for my escape. This classroom is my retreat. This where I'm important. This is where I belong. And now, no school for 3 months.........

Gunbound

There is a free online game I like to play called gunbound. Gunbound is a shooting game that employs factors such as wind speed/direction, trajectories, ect.. There are a choice of several vehicles or "mobiles" that you can chose to play with each with strengths and weaknesses. Each mobile effect others differently. I hadn't played in months, yesterday I started playing again. I had just about as much fun as I remember it being. If you get with a good team, you could easily waste hours playing. When you win, you earn gold. You can trade earned gold for costumes your character can wear. The costume can modify your abilities. I played so long ago, nobody remembers where my character items come from. Kinda freaks people out when I enter a game and they don't recognize my stuff.

Since I won't be getting cable anytime soon, I'll read, write, listen to radio, and play video games for entertainment. I could afford it, but why bother? I wouldn't watch much even if I had it. I don't think I should be paying to watch commercials. Why not make cable free? Pay for premium channels, commercial free. I even think the internet should be free. All those ads you heve to watchout where you click. I shop online, pay bills online, maybe the advertisers should be footing the bill. If the companys realize the closer their product is to our fingertips, the quicker we consume.

Have you ever stopped and looked around us? At yourself? Fat, lethargic, red-faced people on the verge of organ failure speeding down the road, blabbering into a cellphone while shoveling greasy, fatty food down thier throats. Too preoccupied to notice or show any regard to the people around them. Go online and talk to a person in Ireland or Canada for hours, but can't remember the last time you spoke to your nieghbor.
What's your favorite poem?
When was the last time you made a homemade gift for someone?
When was the last time you sat down to a home cooked meal with your family?
When was the last time you stopped talking and started listening?
When was the last time you felt alive?
When was the last time you looked outside, and saw everyone scrambling like rats and it made you realize how stupid life can be if you take all the BS too seriously?

Have you stopped to think about the price you really pay for the thing you work toward?

Tired

Yesterday after I made it home, I felt bad. I took a four hour nap and still felt rotten. It kinda scared me. It was a headache and weakness with nothing else seemingly wrong. Robyn rushed over as soon as she heard from me. I kinda liked the attention. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love living alone and being self-sufficient, but it does get lonely at times.

Nathan called me yesterday and is offering to send me an unnamed movie I'd like to own. I'll give you a dvd of something I own, just name it.

I have my mess pretty much under wraps. There is very little left to do and it's mostly just toss out and detail cleaning. I'm going to put an ad in for my more "high dollar" surplus before I do my yard sale. I might be able to get some new living room furniture out of it. I'd love new furniture at this point. My folks came down for lunch and were impressed with what I'd done with the place. My house looks nicer than theirs now. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It's the last week of school, I think I did quite well considering my resources. Next year I'll have more available to me and my room will be better suited to the task. All the rowdy kids are on early vacation, and the sheep that follow them are falling into place. I think it will be a smooth, quiet sail to the finish.

I've been running my kung-fu type game for two sessions, next week will be three. I like it and the players really seem to be into it as well, but I'm ready to get back into playing my sorcerer. I'll celebrate by incinerating an enemy. I got burned out playing Draco early on. I didn't like that he was so under-powered compared to my other characters to date. Draco has really come into his own the past couple of levels and became quite formidible. Still not my favorite character. I'd say Klegg, the half orc fighter, and Daxt, the jedi I played in a SW campaign still beat him out. I think Klegg will always be my favorite. Strong, fast, angry. he didn't think too much about it, he just pulled out his great sword and swung as hard as he could and if he was connecting, he was doing the damage. He was the one everyone ran from or to. I like Klegg and I'd love to pick him up again one day. I doubt daxt will ever see the day he's brought back into action, shame too. I thought he was the ideal Jedi, high dexterity and weilded two lightsabers in combat. His fighting style was like ballet. I try to imagine how a character fights, then I mold thier personality around that.

I guess I'll not be getting too old to play any time soon. The geek lives in all of us.

weird

I found out today the best way to get under the skin of a ultra-hyper, attention starved kid.

Ignore him and give him nothing to do.

As simple as it sounds, sometimes we overlook simple solutions. Kid went about half crazy today. He was desparate for any type of attention. I blame his white trash parents.

Revenge of the Sith

I told myself I wasn't going to go watch SW3 right away. I was heartbroken at how horrible Attack of the Clones was. After I watched it, I felt like George Lucas took a big crap on my chlidhood daydreams of jedis and lightsabers. I was kinda gun-shy to get that worked up again. The corus teacher offered me a pair of tickets to last nights midnight showing, how could I refuse? My game ran over so we were kinda late getting there. Robyn & I had to sit WAY up front (not too cool).The teach I got the tickets from said he was there @ 9:50 & he wasn't much further back at all. I do hate how one guy was "holding" seats for 5 of his friends. Geez. I could see one or two, but FIVE? Oh well......

The movie was way better than I expected. It has better acting, better directing, it looked a bit more real, I had a much easier time suspending disbelief. I like how it seems like so much thought was put into how everything was to be tied in to the original movies. I found Anakin's turn to the darkside to be beliveable. His fear of losing the one he loves makes him go to any length to save her. You can see he resists it, feeling guilt, and anguish. I feel it might have been over the top at a few points, but still good none the less. I felt his motivation, I could sympathize with this portrayal of Anakin. You could see the hatred. But was it hatred of himself?

The two shining characters of the whole prequel were Obi-Wan and Palpatine. They carried this franchise just as Liam Neeson was the perfect jedi as Qui-Gon Gin in TPM. I would definitely watch it again. There was a ton of things I like and only a few I didn't. Where as in AOTC, there were a few thing I really like but hated the film as a whole.

I liked it. I will have to watch it again to fully make up my mind, but it was a definate improvement. Now I'm really stoked for the live action series.

Progress, sweet progress

Despite staying on the telephone for hours last night, I managed to get quite a bit of housework done. My "over-my-head pile o' stuff" that completely filled a decent sized bedroom is now a large pile of laundry and a 2 unsorted boxes. My goal of five or fewer boxes stored is coming around slowly it is coming around. I repaired some of my boken pieces of antique furniture. The desk is still not ok, but it is together. Tomorrow, I'm cleaning the whole house, dust, vacuum, ect., and then I start the back porch. I should call it the patio. It's a huge, screened in porch and it is full too. It's filled with empty boxes, my two giant aquariums, old furniture, and the old appliances. My goal is to sell most of it at the yard sale in a few weeks. If they don't sell, they will be destroyed, or at the very least put to the side of the road.
Pretty soon the giant dumpster will be gone, and I will have a driveway again. I will be able to have the junk cars in my back yard removed. Although I am a long way from it, I am really enjoying the spartan approach to keeping house. Keep what you need, if it is of no use, destroy it. Keep it simple, the new mantra.

When my porch is cleaned off, I'm going to set up an exercise spot, a workspace and a patio/picnic area. I'm going to celebrate the end of all this with a cookout. I must learn to grill.

I finally got my plastic yesterday, costumes will be made soon. I might sell some other stuff on ebay too.

It will be a time of change.
I want to be proactive.
I want to work toward my goals.
I am willing to put in long hours and stay up late nights.
I am ready to make the sacrifices nesissary to take myself to the next level.
This is the year it all changes for the better.
I need to spell beter.
And use more better grammar.
Ha Ha Ha.

Time for a split.

I am going to do a poltics/current events blog separate from this one. I want this to be my soapbox of the soul, and the other will be my window on the world.

I do enjoy the feedback I've been getting from both my fans. All BS aside, I want to keep the dairy and musing part separate. I'll type more later.

Platform for President the New Wilsonism

I have a few very basic concepts that I think can be applied to our country.


1. Keep it simple

I think things are way too complicated. True genius is finding the most simplified application to adress the problem. I get a migrane trying to comprehend the overly redundant & confusing beauracracy. The buisness model would make Rube Goldberg proud. I would, as president, find ways to simplify everything in the government. Simplifing and streamlining would save money. One extremely simple solution to a myriad of problems is to legalize drugs. Maybe not all, mind you, just marijuana at first. This would:

A. Allow us to revert money from "the war on drugs" to homeland security.
B. Taxes from now legitimate grower & sellers would rake in a few hudred million.
C. A good bit of crime from druglords & gangs would dry right up.
D. A slew of legitimate jobs would open up.
E. Terrorists that fuel their "jihad" with drug smuggling would be hard up on funding.

Hell, the drug trade is huge, a multi billion dollar industry. The war on drugs is a joke. The people have spoken, they know what they want. Why BS about it, let the people be responsible for themselves.

Secure the borders. If you have no right to be here, you have no rights here. I think our country is great because anyone can come here and can become a success or failure based mostly on their own determination. Come legally, obey the laws, pay your taxes and welcome aboard! I think we will have fewer problems with illegal immigrants if we legalize drugs (nothing to smuggle). And NO SOCIAL AID TO ILLEGAL ALIENS!!!!! Social aid is for Americans only.

More to come.......