not much today

I haven't had too much going on this week. I've been plenty busy, but nothing new and exciting. I need either a way to shave down my living expenses, or do way better than Best Buy. I want to get on with the summer cleaning crew next year, and that would be a fine summer suplament to my pay. If I could save up my cash with the extra from the after school program, I won't have to do anything. I don't know, I kind of like the idea of tooling around the house all Summer, making repairs, doing projects, and grilling out. Sounds like fun to me.

Nathan made an comment about lottery odds. I've also heard all these disparaging comments for years. Yes, I know it's 146 million to one odds. Yes, I know I have a better chance of getting struck by lightning. I enjoy it. I like playing the lottery. There is no lottery in NC, yet. We take a road trip to Virginia once a month. I buy lottery tickets and scratch-off cards. We have dinner and talk about all the wonderful stuff we'll do when we're rich. Some of it is just fantasy, but I don't plan my success or my future on the lottery. I'm in a career, I have a five year plan, and I'll be successful with or without it. I love how some people say it's an unfair tax on the poor. The successful people of the world cannot have any concept of the need for hope in a poor man's life. When you give up hope, you start dying inside. Besides, the flaw in the lightning argument is there are more lighning strikes than lottery drawings each year. If lightning only struck twice a week in one random spot in the world, the odds of would be even. Also, how many lottery winners have been struck by lighning I wonder?

The truck is in total disarray. There are things not hooked up that should be. I'm not too sure I can do too much without a good reference point. I'm getting mad enough to put a 302 V8 in it and be done with it. I'll wait until next month to see what I come up with when I actuallt have money to do it.

Time to die

I just deleted my political blog because I'm not too terribly concerned with keeping it up right now. I take intrest in politics and world events, but not enough to elaborate on it daily. RIP wilsonpolitics.blogspot.com.

Weekend wasteland

Didn't do much. I helped Robyn put together her kid's bedroom furniture. It's the cheap Sauder stuff, but I liked it, new matresses too. I'm so jealous.

Putting the furniture together is the tedious part. It takes about 8 hours of consistent effort to put two of those kits together. And if someone is staning over your shoulder asking questions is nerve-shattering. No, niether Robyn nor her mother critcized my assembly of the pressboard monstrosities, but I can only imagine that most domestic abuse cases start with a Suader furniture kit. Imagine a trailer somewhere. The patriarch of the family, a marginally educated man,trying to decipher the instructions through a haze of cigarette smoke, a beer buzz, kids screaming, tv blasting, and wife critiqueing every move.

He starts swearing at all of them because it's obvious only to him that he can't focus due to the nagging, and screaming, and the tv. He can't even hear himself think, let alone figure out the cryptic instructions that seem to be in every language but English. Now his kids are crying, his wife is now screaming at him for talking to his family like that, he is slipping into a psychotic rage even now. He goes to leave, he needs to calm down, she wants to fight. She says a few cutting remarks blocking his path out. He pushes her out of the way and makes a few choice comments in retort. She picks up the the first breakable thing she can grab and hurls it with all her might towards his head. It shatters and and rends delicate flesh., sending warm blood flowing. She pushes him from the door and threatens him. His instincts have gone from flight to fight and stands up to beat her within an inch of her life. Next he beat beats all of his kids and sends them running. This is about the time the sheriff shows up and sees a drunken rage.

He's hauled off in a police cruiser, she's in the back of an ambulance. A social worker is with the kids trying to find relatives to take them in and two detectives are taking pictures and sorting out the the clutter: a shattered porcilin unicorn, shredded cardboard, empty beercans, spilled ashtays, and a half assembled Sauder entertainment center, just out of layaway this morning. Damn you Sauder, damn you.

I made a few diagnostic test to my ranger. Compression seems to be strong. I took off some of the sensors that could be cleaned and soaked them in solvent. I'll reattach them in the next few days to see if it makes a difference. If not, I'll replace the uncleanable sensors and see what we have from there. I still feel good about the potental of the truck, it just needs tlc.

As of yesterday, I'm so sick of Best Buy, I can't stand it. I have something I want to do and I can't, I ask a week in advance to help me out, but they refuse, in a threatening manner no less. I think it's the department I'm in. I'll see about transferring to another one and perhaps I'll enjoy it more. I'll probably quit either way.

Man, I gots to hit that lottery.

Coasting on fumes

I'm broke. It's a bad feeling when you work as much as I do and have nothing to show for it. I had to miss the Guilford College open house due to an assembly for the afterschool program I do as my part-time job. We were there until after 7, it was hot and fairly boring, but there were a few highlights. The Carolina Panthers Topcat cheerleaders were there, at least for of them. I'm pretty sure very attractive women, in skin-tigh clothing, gyrating to music is a great way to get the attention of middle school boys, I'm not too sure it's all that appropriate. They were well behaved, but if there's not too much thought on misbehavior when you're in a sweltering hot gym being bored to tears.

I got my truck home on Tuesday, I've been reading up on what all might be wrong. It seems to be somewhere in the sensors malfunctioning. I'll clean the ones I can, replace the ones I can't one by-one untill we get her smoothed out. I'm actually more confident in the project now than I was before. I think it just needs a good cleaning out, the computer reset, and driven a few days so it can figure out what's going on for itself. Computerized cars can find their equillibrium but boy, all those sensors are a real pain.

I have had a surprise blast from the past, Debbie Woodruff has gotten back in touch with me. I find it funny how my life seems to be running in a big circle these days. I keep in touch with my high school freinds, Paul & Nate, more than just about anyone else. Debbie was a very dear friend in High School. Honestly, she's one of the few people I would trust in school. She was the smartest person I think I knew. I really don't think I can find one bad thing to say about Debbie. She's invited me to get together and catch up. She's married, has a beautiful daughter, and a very stable career. Out of all my friends, I knew she'd do the best. I've done horrible. I'm almost embarrased to catch up with old friends. I've made a series of poor choices that has led up to this comedey of errors I call life.

I was talking to an 8th grade teacher, she said that intellectual people never get anywhere in life because they are too atune to the details and never take caution to the wind. Interesting perspective. I agree totally, but I'd never heard it put that way before. Dumber people who are successful are successful because they have a one-track mind. Like a predator, they lunge at a goal and never mind the details and usually succeed just from sheer tenacity and concentrated effort. I know a fellow like that. he owns about 15 Domino's Pizza stores. Rich man,not terribly bright, but he told me something similiar. "The secret to success is hard work, a little luck and sticking with what you know. I don't know s--t except for pizza, so here I am. Figure out what you know well and put all your effort there. You'll make money."

That might be over-simplistic, but then again, maybe complicating things is half my problem.

What a day, Tuesday.....

I called out of work to attend an enrollment seminar at Guilford College. It was too full to attend, so I re-scheduled for Thursday evening but got all my transcripts and finacial information together, so it was not in vain.

Got the final missing part for my truck and it still won't work right. It's now time to do this myself. The person my parents insisted I take it to wanted the truck, now I think he's just trying to either make me not want it, or trying to squeeze me for money. Either way, if I were to give up on it, I'd sell it on ebay and certainly not to him.

Robyn took me to the State Fair. I sure was excited. We ate at the restraunt she works at, Ted's. It was wonderful as usual.

The State Fair ususally means a few things to me. Deep fried junk food. Pretzels, funnel cakes, fries twinkies.......I ate a fried twinkie. It tasted like congestive heart failure, which means pretty darn tasty. The next thing the fair is all about is the rides I tend not to go on, since we were broke, I opted out of the rides. The last would be the animals, tiny horses, and giant rabbits all out where you can pet them.

This year Robyn wanted to see Kenny Rogers, she liked him as child and wanted to see him before he dies. I got the seats last month, they were nosebleeder tickets. I looked out the window and I saw my house, which is an hour's drive away. Kenny was in good form, I'm not really a fan but he sounded very good and I enjoyed myself. Robyn didn't do as well. Robyn's dad died of cancer in 1994 and he was the spitting image of Kenny Rogers. I saw an aged performer who has seemingly gotten better over ther years at working a crowd. She saw her father, and although she enjoyed the show, it was very emotional for her. I can imagine. My grandmother's favorite performer was KR. There are alot of his records in her collection. When Christmas time came round, she listen to old records and his were always in the mix.

We got lost after the show and didn't get our bearings untill after the fair was closing for the night I didn't get to see any man-eating bunnies, but it was still fun.

I'll be arranging to take my truck home tonight. I'll work on it at home in my spare time. more to come......

blue......

I think the winter blues are starting to come early. Not that I'm totally depressed, I just feel a little blue, a little muted, a tad sedate.

I have a major hurdle in my goals ahead of me soon. Getting back into school and getting it financed. If I can't, I don't know what to do next. I'm not stressed either. I'm in a "I guess we'll just see" mood.

I found out today unexpectedly one of my dogs was pregnant. If they are healthy puppies, my property tax problems are solved this year. It was nasty too. I was grooming them one last time before winter, and my sister insisted we do this dog first. I picked her up and noticed she was like a tick ready to pop. She had milky tets and a loose mucus plug, that means any day now. And it means I was too grossed out to eat lunch.

Paul made me a whole DVD full of goodies, can't wait to see it. I talked to him for awhile, I was supposed to go his shop, but I was too worn out for such shenanigans after everything else.

I had to go to the holiday pep rally at Best Buy. We were talking about teamwork and poicy and all other types of nonesesnse. I cracked a few hateful jokes that the employees loved and the manager I was talking about didn't. I guess I'll be working one hour a week now. I actually had another employee come up and say "how you gonna say that? You're crazy!"
No, I'm not crazy, I don't care anymore. There is a certain liberty to be found in not caring. If you have a good work ethic, it can make you an incredible employee. it can also make you leave at the first slighted comment. I'm somewhere in the middle.

I made a joke once about I hope they raise the bar because I'm a limbo kind of guy. Sometimes I wonder.......

I'm taking all day Tuesday off to apply to Guilford College. Perhaps I might get some questions answered. The main question is: how the heck am I going to pay for it all? Then, how am I going to drive to G'borro 2 times a week? My car is a piece of doo-doo.

Doo-doo is a hilarious word to me.

Honing my craft

I do believe I'm getting better at my job. I can go for days without having any real problems. The students, even thought they change from day to day, seem to almost instinctivly know what I expect from them and make effort to not incur my wrath. I guess I have become the sadistic nightmare everyone dreads. I get a little choked up at the thought, Granny would be so proud of me.

Today has been a pleasant day outside. That mechanic should have finished my truck by now, even if he did, my money is running out for the month and I may not be able to pay him at this point until my next payday. I guess he'll just have to wait.

I was thinking about the teacher shortage. The way to solve our teacher problem is to pay them more. If teachers had a competitive salary for the type of work they did, then there would be a teacher surplus and then schools could cherry pick from the very best, not scrape the bottom of the barrel. And let me tell you, there are some dingleberries that teach.

I guess America's biggest problem is that it demands quality on the cheap. You can't always get it like that.

Changing life.

I've had quite a few very goof reiends in my life that we all met either at work or at school. Then we part ways. I find it hard sometimes to relate how we once did. Pizza people don't get "teacher problems" just as jerks that don't tip are starting to fade away from my "I hope you burn in Hell" list.

behavioral theory

I thought it would be funny to experiment with climate control in my classroom. When it was in the 80's a few weeks ago, I cut the AC way up to see if freezing the students would make them calmer. It actually had the reverse effect. They became antsy. When I cut it up to make it hot in the room, they became very lethargic. I had a similiar sitation last year when my room was not heatd properlybut during the winter they were lethatgic during uncomfortable cold.

The theory: a sort of behavior control can be achieved by manipulating ambient room temprature. But the desired effect depends on the season. In summer, the warmer they are, the less they move about. the opposite is true in winter. I seriously doubt that my findings would have much impact on the learning process, but if you make them uncomfortable when in an ISS program, thier might be a negative psycological imprinting of ISS being passively unpleasant, as well as actively punitive. I think the term is "miserable".

Speaking of uncomfortable, years ago, I dated a girl who ate macrobiotic food. The word meand "big life" sort of an all natural approach to eating. She introduced me to "miso" soup on a date. This stuff is all natural and has enzymes and bacterium that is supposed to be super-healty. She told me the soup can cleanse the body and it had to be true because I had the foulest gas of my life that night. For those who may not be so familiar with me, that is a big statement.

Thinking of problem students, everyone plays into the races. Black kids get into more trouble than white kids, or so they say. I have more black kids in ISS but I have the most problems with whites. I don't know what the deal is, and I can only speculate. I think black kids get in trouble mostly because teachers don't know how to control them. I tend to not have a problem with the black kids. The white kids mostly get in trouble because the "problematic" ones are pure evil.

How can I say that? By the crimes. I can't recall one black serial killer. I can name at least 5 whites. Plenty of crack heads and theives, but not a single chop you up alive, eat your still-beating heart, make neckaces out of your teeth, and bury the remains in under thier house honkey-crime-comitting lunatics. The only way you describe alot of white crime is evil.

The weather today is dreary, but dry. Maybe I'll get my truck today. If the lazy jackleg doesn't hurry, he'll have to wait until next month to get paid.

My foot is feeling much better even though it still hurts a bit. If we get gym time today, I'm playing soccer. i need to burn some calories

Just a quiet, rainy day filled with meloncholly

Not mine, but he children who are in ISS today. We had an incedent yesterday that was as bad as I think middle school being without someone actually dying. I had no part in it, but it still saddened me to no end. Two students were caught using hardcore illegal drugs. They are 12 & 13 year old children. Who would give give that to a child? What kind of monsters and villians do we have out there? The thought of someone making such things available to childred destroys the theory of inherent good in the world for me. Today, it feels darker and dirtier than all other days I can remember. So I'm in an incredibly rotten mood. Perfect for ISS.

I'm a big fan of talk radio. I wonder if that would torturous to them? It's silent some days, I can only hear the lights

I don't think I'm going to do anything for Halloween this year. It's my favorite time of year, but my heart (and cash) really are not up for it. Three years in a row have been crappy, one was my own doing. If I have about one more bad one, I might never do anything again. Also, I shoot myself in the foot because I never can do cheap Halloween costumes. So, the pirate costume I wanted to do this year is out of my price range.

Due to the miserable weather this week, my truck will most likely not be repaired anytime soon. Oh well. i noticed yesterday it is a long bed. I personally prefer the look of the short bed, but it will be more practical. Speaking of practical, I'd really like an extend or crew cab. I would like more leg room in my truck.

I'll have a nice, quiet day at home tonight. I think I'll get my house back together. It's not too messy, generally, but it could sure use some work. I want to get it clean & cozy in time for winter. I'll try to get a record player next month. I want to play my grandparents old records. Warm, clean house, soup & grilled cheese, and old records. That's a cure for winter blues right there.

Weekend blues

I went to work on my truck on Saturday, only to find the fellow who was supposed to be working on it all along had finally started working on it. Today, it's raining, so he most likely won't get anything done to it. So I'll have to wait for a dry day to see it running.

I went to VA on Sunday to play the lottery. I get a ticket for Mega Millions and a few scratchers. I had a $10 winner to cash in from my last trip and I bought two more $5 scratchers I had four all together. The first three were nothing, but number four was good for $15, so we pulled into the next place, and I cashed it in on three more. Two duds & one $10 one! I asked Robyn to pull in to the next stop (the last place to buy before the NC state line) she refused, saying that we had to be at her house to pick up her kids. She was right, we were cutting it close, but as we sped for home, I was left with the lingering thought.....third time's a charm. To Hell with it, if it is meant to be, it will happen when it's time to happen. Besides, I was only going to buy her a house with the winnings anyway. If third time is a charm, perhaps the actual lottery ticket will be my big winner......$65 million.

I'm realistic, I know I have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning, but it's still fun and I'm not going to let my bills lapse in hopes of "hitting it big". It's also hope. Hope can get you out of bed. Hope can make you hold on just a little longer.

A few years ago, I was eating out with Robyn, across the room, there were two older people eating. The were having a lively, friendly conversation over dinner. I hoped the were married all these years and still loved each other enough to have light hearted banter over dinner. If it were, that's what I want. Get married and love that person all the days of your life. And when you're old enough to eat half price, still have fun together. I couldn't bear to be the old folks that never speak to one another. The old couple that some time around the Nixon administration, they had said everything new, funny, or interesting there was to say to each other and stopped right there.

last week I saw two older people that looked like trailer trash. Life had not been kind. they were dirty and wearing tattered clothes, but they were holding hands, looking warmly at one another, and laughing while grocery shopping. I thought they were really lucky. Nothing has ever been as dreary as it could have been if you had some who loves you to share it with. There is a kind of hope in that.

more filler than meatloaf

I got my header for the truck re-threaded and I WAS going to try to put it on tonight, but several things happened.

1. Robyn called and asked for my help. She plied me with food.
2. I got out of work way too late.
3. Lost was on tonight.
$. I think I broke my foot in the after-school program.

It's hard to judge, usually swollen, purple, & thobbing is a good thing. I can bend my toes with effort, but not very easily. I might be going to the doctor tomorrow.

I was playing soccer with the Hispanic kids, one fell in front of me and I tripped over him I jammed my two outside right-foot toes hard. I felt the "pop". I could have stomped on him and saved myself, but I instinctively tried to stop myself.

I guess causing the ISS teacher to hurt themselves is kind of an accomplishment. All I know is it burns like hell, even nearly 8 hours later.

I'm tired, more to come.

always a catch

The guy that's going to put the manifold on has started making out like it's going to take a lot of work to fix.....bull. If I had a proper set of tool and the work space to do it in, I could be finished in an hour. So I feel a reaming coming on. I called out of BB tody. I just don't want to work a Sunday. They give me one crappy day a week. I don't mind so much, but damn. Let me work Friday, Saturday, or even Sunday morning, but not a school night.

I found out why the store has so few hours to impart. They are losing money in Burlington. Yep, they found out my town is packed full of brokeasses, I'm sure the store will stay there, but nobody I know can afford much of the stuff they sell. I'd rather buy from a place like tigerdirect.com and buy cheaper than I can get with my employee discount. I even bought a mini fridge from Lowes and saved $10 (and that was including my discount!). No one gives a damn about best buy, they like cheap stuff here. Why? All the factory jobs that kept this area vital were shipped overseas. I even want to leave when I can get my education finished to the point I have marketable skills.

http://ap.thecabin.net/pstories/technology/20050929/3326489.shtml <---this is awesome. I can only imagine what impact such technology will have. I also like the verizon wireless-broadband access, it is only in its infancy, but I see that as being the next big thing. I hope all this extra radiation in the air isn't mutating us....hmmmmmm.

I'm going to start carrying a camera around. I see a ton of screwy stuff and I want to start documenting it. I have a cocept for taking a few pics and posting wry comments about them. I know it's old hat, but gimme a break.

mission successful

After a great fight against an inanimate piece of junk and in a not so strange ironic twist, I have the pieces I need to repair the truck. It took four hours with inapropriate tools to wrench the exaust manifold from the truck. This part has everthing I need to fix the emissions and hopefully it is all I need. As I was pulling the part, Harmon called me. Harmon is a shadetree mechanic I've come to know. I trust him quite abit, but the only problem is that by the time my cars need attention, they are very difficult to repair. I digress.

He called to tell me he found the part I needed and pulled string to get it for me. My only problem is I would normally have turned him down, but an asset like Harmon is nothing to neglect. He can find car parts that are otherwise impossible to locate. So I bought the parts I needed twice.

Even though I got a great deal on the truck, too many repeat expenses will widdle my saving down to a break-even situation.

It seems as though Paul's approach birthday is rather auspicious. He turns 30 this Wednesday and is making the typical pre-midlife crisis changes....30th birthday resolutions. Thirty was a big deal when I passed it also, so I understand where is coming from. 30 is the offical "damn I'm old" age, but it is al cultural implications. You'll be dumbfounded for a few days and then life goes on, nothing special afterwards.

So here's to Paul, don't poison yourself this week, we got a few steaks to grill on Thursday.

last ditch effort

Even as I'm staying up way too late. I'm waking early tomorrow to try to get my exaust manifold for my truck. I can only hope the greedy bastards at the junkyard will sell it to me. This may be my last attempt to get the darned thing running for awhile. More to come.

The mind of a middle schooler

I guess I might be out of touch, but it seems like the entire process of a middle schoolers thoughts include music, fighting, basketball, and the oppsite sex. Every other thing in thier life is just superflous information. It also seems as though truth has very little to do with their reality.

I think the truth part has some part to do with thier sense of denial. It often seems as though they are so narsacistic that it is impossible to put blame on themselves. It is quite possible that it is a lingering aspect of being a coddled child. Their life is so full of paradoxes and contradictions that it easy to see why they get so confused and often times misguided.

All I know is that they hard headed.

doctors....

I don't like them. They seem to always be able to find something wrong and give out a drug that has more side effects than benefits. Yet I find myself at an odd crossroad.

I turned 31 this year. Aside from getting really sick almost five years ago for about a month, I've not gone to a doctor since I was a child. Now, I don't know if I'm just getting older, or if there is something wrong with me.

I won't go into everything I've noticed, but at least one day a week I get very tired and have to nap after school. As a child I was unique in the fact that I didn't take naps. My eariest memories were of all the other kids in day care zonked out and I was just bored and waiting for the adults to tell me I could get up. As a young adult, I thrived on only a few hours of sleep a night. Now I have got to get some rest.

Wondering if I have some horrid health problem makes me think of faith. I like faith, I want to believe in a higher power. With a higher power comes hope and a sense of purpose. It makes you feel like there is always something better just around the corner, no matter how bad it gets. It may not make sense, but there is a reason for everything.

The bad part about religon is the way it is presented. 2000 years ago, in the desert, people saw all this wonderous, miraculous stuff. Then it was like "keep the faith, and we'll be back one day to get you!" With the exception of parlor tricks, well-proven forgeries, and the occasional food stuff on ebay, nothing. No post cards, birthday gifts, nothing.

Is it the whole "catch 22" thing? Gotta have faith. Faith is trust, and trust is a rare commodity.

I tend to never speak on my wavering faith. I figure that if I'm misguided and I spread too much dissention, I'll really be screwed. If I'm right, then why shake the believers? If it makes you happy and it doesn't hurt anybody else, go for it. These days I figure maybe someone will throw in thier two cents. I think everyone needs the occasional "Hey! Sorry I can't stay in touch as much as I'd like, but I just wanted you to know I love you and I think about you. I can't wait to see you again." I think faith is love and trust and sometime I just don't know. But I remember a time when God and Heaven were as obviously real the Sun, the Earth, and even the computer I'm typing on right now. I miss that feeling. It felt very safe.

Plans....

There's always time to write when there is nothing to write about. Life is at a stand still right now. I don't have the last part for my truck, still hoping I can get college financed, trying to watch my wieght, BB still is lousy due to lack of hours, my day job is still awesome except for the pay.

I think the hardest part of not delivering pizza anymore is not having cash in-hand every day. All of my jobs are direct deposit jobs. I never see cash unless I withdraw it from an ATM. It's hard to get used to. I like the feel of a stuffed wallet in my back right pocket I like the feel anf smell of fresh money. Swiping a little peice of plastic just doesn't hold the spending satisfaction as does counting out fresh bills. Not to mention, it's easier to keep track of your finances. When the money's gone, you stop spending.

I think I'll be going up to a queen sized bed very soon. I think I need some luxury sizing. My current matress has just about had it. I'm actually starting to wonder if I'm just too rough on matresses (get your minds out of the gutter). I was given an almost new full sized matress less than two years ago, and its just about ruined. The box spring is cracked, the matrees will not return to shape even after turning it. It's just not pleasant anymore. I must be a very restless sleeper, or something.

I gained 5 pounds from all the consumption this past week, so now I'm going moderate again and I'm going to try to get to 200 by Nov 1.

I was watching a show about people who feel they are addicted to eating. The one bohemoth they interviewed made a good point. Smokers can quit smoking. Alcoholics can stop drining. If you are addicted to food, you can't just stop eating. I really don't have much sympathy for junkies, but to be addicted to something you need to survive. How do you beat that?

I was just thinking.

My friend Paul, who's website can be accessed here. Can put a very amusing spin on life. I was reading through and he had an idea for a shampoo for goths. Gothica - Shampoo for Goths "Beacuse it's hard to celebrate the utter empitiness of existence when your hair smells like strawberries". I find that funny everytime I read it. I find the whole goth thing to be full of irony too. All the leather and velvet, the black makeup. It seems like an awful lot of work for the person who lives an empty existence. I guess life is full of little hypocritical nuances like that.

I aw a deleted scene from Napoleon Dynamite last night and it was so funny, that I now must watch the whole movie. It was a kickball scene in which ND gets into it with another student. After that, it's all too funny.

Got my school picture taken today. My mom would never forgive me if I didn't. She's as fervent now as she was when I was actually the student.

I really don't have much to say. It was a decent non-eventful day

The bane of my exisitence......

EC, or exceptional needs kids. These guys age me in dog years when they are in here. I have three in my room today, and they just make me so tired. It seems as though they have made the bar so low for them, that misbehavior is the norm. I get a decent level of behavior, for a class room, but not for me. In fact, they would probably be ideal students if they behaved they way the do when they are isolated. I don't pretend to know what all is wrong with them. I do know that in 1979, when I started school, there was no such thing as ADD. Even if there were, ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder, not act like a wild jackass disorder. All the ADD kids seem the same. They come from wrecked homes. I wonder if the attention deficit is the lack of attention they get from thier parents.

Then you add ritalin into the mix. As far as I can see, ritalin does nothing for these kids. They still misbehave. That particular drug is not behavior-modification medicine. It just sedates them and makes them junkies.

Alot of people go around think pills will solve all thier problems. They won't. In fact, I'm disgusted that our medical profession seems to be going around trying to make everyone believe they need to be happy all the time. life should be a mixture of emotions. They accent, define, and compliment one another. I think I tend to lean towards bouts of depression. I have no excuses, I just feel blue from time to time, and I deal with it.

Back to the wild kids, if they could be made to fear authority figures again, all this ADD stuff would be a moot point.