I don't like them. They seem to always be able to find something wrong and give out a drug that has more side effects than benefits. Yet I find myself at an odd crossroad.
I turned 31 this year. Aside from getting really sick almost five years ago for about a month, I've not gone to a doctor since I was a child. Now, I don't know if I'm just getting older, or if there is something wrong with me.
I won't go into everything I've noticed, but at least one day a week I get very tired and have to nap after school. As a child I was unique in the fact that I didn't take naps. My eariest memories were of all the other kids in day care zonked out and I was just bored and waiting for the adults to tell me I could get up. As a young adult, I thrived on only a few hours of sleep a night. Now I have got to get some rest.
Wondering if I have some horrid health problem makes me think of faith. I like faith, I want to believe in a higher power. With a higher power comes hope and a sense of purpose. It makes you feel like there is always something better just around the corner, no matter how bad it gets. It may not make sense, but there is a reason for everything.
The bad part about religon is the way it is presented. 2000 years ago, in the desert, people saw all this wonderous, miraculous stuff. Then it was like "keep the faith, and we'll be back one day to get you!" With the exception of parlor tricks, well-proven forgeries, and the occasional food stuff on ebay, nothing. No post cards, birthday gifts, nothing.
Is it the whole "catch 22" thing? Gotta have faith. Faith is trust, and trust is a rare commodity.
I tend to never speak on my wavering faith. I figure that if I'm misguided and I spread too much dissention, I'll really be screwed. If I'm right, then why shake the believers? If it makes you happy and it doesn't hurt anybody else, go for it. These days I figure maybe someone will throw in thier two cents. I think everyone needs the occasional "Hey! Sorry I can't stay in touch as much as I'd like, but I just wanted you to know I love you and I think about you. I can't wait to see you again." I think faith is love and trust and sometime I just don't know. But I remember a time when God and Heaven were as obviously real the Sun, the Earth, and even the computer I'm typing on right now. I miss that feeling. It felt very safe.
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2 comments:
I like pouring my heart into my writing only to have a whore like this fling spam all over it.
Always encourage the faithful. It gives them hope and you make their lives a little better by doing so.
Yesterday, my coworker's father's car died in the parking lot of our garage and I told him that it couldn't have happened in a better place and that it was like someone was watching out for him. He smiled.
He works hard for his church and, while I am not sure I believe what I was saying, I think it enforced his faith and faith leads to hope.
And, well, hope gets you up in the morning.
I would also like to say that Adrian Creffield Loves animals in unnatural ways.
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