Saturday, May 14, 2005
I want to run...
No, not exercise. I want into politics. I have a few political ideas I'd like to promote. I think I have a good working theory about the government and its major short comings. I have even began fostering a platform. I might make a separate blog for this, or I just might do a website. Why not?
Thursday, May 12, 2005
free lunch......
I have instances every day where I see first hand the failings of our system. I see people being rewarded for doing poorly. I remember field day as a kid. Some won, many lost, everyone got a ribbon. The blue first place was an awesome thing to have pinned to your shirt. The red ribbon of second was also great, as was third. Then there was "honorable mention". I thought honorable mention meant "loser". I had a few of each, honorable mention was the most common. We can't all be winners. Then one year we didn't do ribbons at all and nobody tried. There must be rewards for exceptional ability and effort. Likewise there should be nothing for those who don't try to excel.
This brings me to welfare and other social programs. I don't care for them. Welfare and these social aid programs were meant to be used as a way to get people on thier feet, to provide a home to raise thier children and make sure they get what they need to get off on the right foot, so the next generation gets out of the projects. It didn't quite happen that way.
I believe the govenment made a major faux pas by thinking the answer to helping these people was to give them handouts. If a person gets something without earning it, they tend to take it for granted. Eventually they become complacent and lazy. Then they expect the handout. The icing on the cake is when they use all of thier free time getting into some kind of trouble.
In nature, an organism that lives in a system that either does not positively contribute or is detrimental in nature is called a parasite. A parasite is never seen as a good thing.
I know very intellegent people design goverment programs. If this welfare program is such a failure, why does it continue to exist? I have several theories, some mild, some extreme.
Commerce excuse:
We continue to give social benefits to the downtrodden to augment the flow of money. They get money, they consume goods, people have jobs to supply them, and the money flows.
I know for a fact if had some of my own tax money back I would spend it on me. i like stuff and I would buy more. I think everyone would.
Grand Conspiracy theory:
We give welfare so that those demographics become lazy and complacent, it keeps who WE want in change and propetuates OUR superiority.
I could almost buy this one.
Cynics view:
Such a large percentage of the population recieves some sort of social aid that any politician using welfare reform/repeal as a part of thier campaign would be committing career suicide. And most of our legislators are pandering, spineless creeps that are more interested in passing non-laws than trying to make a difference in our country.
BINGO!
I am an optimist at heart. I always hope for the best and try to see the good, but I also prepare for the worst and aknowledge that there is always a downside.
I say let those who cannot help themselves be helped. Those who will not help themselves must be allowed to reap what they sow. They will either find a way to make it, or drown in thier own ocean of apathy and self pity. No honorable mention in the form of a welfare check.
This brings me to welfare and other social programs. I don't care for them. Welfare and these social aid programs were meant to be used as a way to get people on thier feet, to provide a home to raise thier children and make sure they get what they need to get off on the right foot, so the next generation gets out of the projects. It didn't quite happen that way.
I believe the govenment made a major faux pas by thinking the answer to helping these people was to give them handouts. If a person gets something without earning it, they tend to take it for granted. Eventually they become complacent and lazy. Then they expect the handout. The icing on the cake is when they use all of thier free time getting into some kind of trouble.
In nature, an organism that lives in a system that either does not positively contribute or is detrimental in nature is called a parasite. A parasite is never seen as a good thing.
I know very intellegent people design goverment programs. If this welfare program is such a failure, why does it continue to exist? I have several theories, some mild, some extreme.
Commerce excuse:
We continue to give social benefits to the downtrodden to augment the flow of money. They get money, they consume goods, people have jobs to supply them, and the money flows.
I know for a fact if had some of my own tax money back I would spend it on me. i like stuff and I would buy more. I think everyone would.
Grand Conspiracy theory:
We give welfare so that those demographics become lazy and complacent, it keeps who WE want in change and propetuates OUR superiority.
I could almost buy this one.
Cynics view:
Such a large percentage of the population recieves some sort of social aid that any politician using welfare reform/repeal as a part of thier campaign would be committing career suicide. And most of our legislators are pandering, spineless creeps that are more interested in passing non-laws than trying to make a difference in our country.
BINGO!
I am an optimist at heart. I always hope for the best and try to see the good, but I also prepare for the worst and aknowledge that there is always a downside.
I say let those who cannot help themselves be helped. Those who will not help themselves must be allowed to reap what they sow. They will either find a way to make it, or drown in thier own ocean of apathy and self pity. No honorable mention in the form of a welfare check.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Must make money
To help myself with my money situation AND my overflow of junk, I have decided to have the mother of all yard sales. It will happen in a few weeks and I will be getting rid of everything. That which is not sold will be tossed out.
I find myself drooling over furniture ads. I envision how cool it would be to have those crisp, clean pieces of furniture in my freshly painted and carpeted house. I am now old.
I'm becoming a big fan of making my home a den of creature comforts. This somewhat of a contratiction of my need to live frugally, but I feel a happy medium can be met. I just need to prioritize.
Robyn has been feeling horrible as of late. Dizzy, headaches, nausea, chest pains, and shortness of breath. She felt so bad on Sunday when she dropped by I wouldn't let her leave. She and I both think her blood pressure may be too high. I've been telling her only water, fruits and veggies until she goes to the doctor. It's making her feel better. I think she also likes the fact I'm so concerned over her health. I'm not too sure her boyfriend is showing as much concern. I have no clue as to what's going on there, nor do I really want to. She'll tell soon enough if she's ready. I love her to death, but she will not hold back if she has something to bitch about. Well, she will if she's REALLY mad, even that will pass.
I'm going to do everything I feel my car needs while I still have the cash to do it. I think all that is left is a vacuum leak near the brake booster. I may have to replace the whole thing, but if it works, it will be well worth it. Driving a car that won't idle on its own is a pain. As much as I like my little accord, it makes me hate it to fight it in stop & go traffic. If I do that, it has fresh tires, so I should be good for awhile.
I did a "soft start" to eating healthy today. I had a banana and an apple for breakfast. I might have some chili for dinner. It's cheap, filling & low carb. I like Atkins. I love that diet. It's like getting tricked into weight loss. The only real problem is alot of it you have to plan most of your meals and it requires alot of preparation if you are on the move quite a bit. I didn't want to stop the diet, but new job, and a tumultutous 10 months has made it difficult to just get by, let alone eat healthy.
Any diet that let's you eat bacon, cheese, and sausage and you still lose weight. That's ok with me!
There are a few downsides to atkins.
1. Eating alot of meat is pricey.
2. You HAVE to take vitamins. You need extra potassium too.
3. You must drink half of you body weight in ounces of water everyday.
4. It turns your poop into large, unforgiving, unyeilding, bricks o' pain. I swear I chipped the toilet bowl once.
Other than than the fact I felt like I had pooped a microwave when I didn't get enough water, I felt better than I had pretty much most of my life. I had energy, my temper was under control, I wasn't depressed. It was all good and I really want that back. This time, I will exercise too.
I find myself drooling over furniture ads. I envision how cool it would be to have those crisp, clean pieces of furniture in my freshly painted and carpeted house. I am now old.
I'm becoming a big fan of making my home a den of creature comforts. This somewhat of a contratiction of my need to live frugally, but I feel a happy medium can be met. I just need to prioritize.
Robyn has been feeling horrible as of late. Dizzy, headaches, nausea, chest pains, and shortness of breath. She felt so bad on Sunday when she dropped by I wouldn't let her leave. She and I both think her blood pressure may be too high. I've been telling her only water, fruits and veggies until she goes to the doctor. It's making her feel better. I think she also likes the fact I'm so concerned over her health. I'm not too sure her boyfriend is showing as much concern. I have no clue as to what's going on there, nor do I really want to. She'll tell soon enough if she's ready. I love her to death, but she will not hold back if she has something to bitch about. Well, she will if she's REALLY mad, even that will pass.
I'm going to do everything I feel my car needs while I still have the cash to do it. I think all that is left is a vacuum leak near the brake booster. I may have to replace the whole thing, but if it works, it will be well worth it. Driving a car that won't idle on its own is a pain. As much as I like my little accord, it makes me hate it to fight it in stop & go traffic. If I do that, it has fresh tires, so I should be good for awhile.
I did a "soft start" to eating healthy today. I had a banana and an apple for breakfast. I might have some chili for dinner. It's cheap, filling & low carb. I like Atkins. I love that diet. It's like getting tricked into weight loss. The only real problem is alot of it you have to plan most of your meals and it requires alot of preparation if you are on the move quite a bit. I didn't want to stop the diet, but new job, and a tumultutous 10 months has made it difficult to just get by, let alone eat healthy.
Any diet that let's you eat bacon, cheese, and sausage and you still lose weight. That's ok with me!
There are a few downsides to atkins.
1. Eating alot of meat is pricey.
2. You HAVE to take vitamins. You need extra potassium too.
3. You must drink half of you body weight in ounces of water everyday.
4. It turns your poop into large, unforgiving, unyeilding, bricks o' pain. I swear I chipped the toilet bowl once.
Other than than the fact I felt like I had pooped a microwave when I didn't get enough water, I felt better than I had pretty much most of my life. I had energy, my temper was under control, I wasn't depressed. It was all good and I really want that back. This time, I will exercise too.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Dear Diary........
On Sunday, Paul & Robyn helped me move my giant aquarium. Thanks. I have a LONG way to go before the house is finished. But she is getting there.
Summer approaches quickly. Soon the money for school will stop coming. This will make my monthly bills difficult. I need supplemental money. My approximate bill breakdown look something like this:
Rent - $259
Lights - $120 *
Water - $50*
Phone - $40
Cell Phone - $65
Internet - $45
Food - $God only knows
Gas -$35
Car Gas - $200 - I still deliver pizza*
Home Insurance - $55*
Car Ins - $95*
*These items are either not a monthly occurence, or I can alter them .
I come up to $964 a month before I ever even eat. The tips from delivering pizza takes care of the gas. That puts me at $764 before food.
Robyn wants me to watch her kids over the summer. She willing to pay $120 a week + food. That will put me in at 480/mo. + my domino's check = about $ 700. Tips would have to be below average for me to not clear all my bills and have about 150-200 a month left over, but this is way less than I'd like to be working with. However, babysitting two well behaved kids affords me other opportunities. I would be free to make costumes all summer. If I could turn just $50 a week profit, which is a very reasonable goal, I could easily make it all happen very easily. Next year, I'm opting for year-round pay.
This will only work if nothing major (bad) happens.
I have found breaking my goals up into bite-sized pieces helps get them done. Here is the current list.
1. Move back into home.....done.
2. Get things organized, one room at a time.......getting there. kitchen is done, Living room is so close it is a non-issue, computer room is good. The back porch and spare bedrooms are both bad, but they will get there, I just have to pack away or throw away for the bedroom. The back porch will be last.
Even though it is difficult to let go of stuff when you are a packrat, there is a sense of releif when it is gone and you have beautiful clear spaces left. I should have a washer/dryer soon. That will make my life easier.
Next will be to get back to my education. It will all come to pass. I WILL take classes at ACC this fall to bridge myself into an education program at a 4 year college. I want to be ready to be a full time student some where by next fall, I will break the land speed record getting my BA and then I can really make some progress in my life.
Anyone can have goals, not everyone has the drive to achieve them.
Summer approaches quickly. Soon the money for school will stop coming. This will make my monthly bills difficult. I need supplemental money. My approximate bill breakdown look something like this:
Rent - $259
Lights - $120 *
Water - $50*
Phone - $40
Cell Phone - $65
Internet - $45
Food - $God only knows
Gas -$35
Car Gas - $200 - I still deliver pizza*
Home Insurance - $55*
Car Ins - $95*
*These items are either not a monthly occurence, or I can alter them .
I come up to $964 a month before I ever even eat. The tips from delivering pizza takes care of the gas. That puts me at $764 before food.
Robyn wants me to watch her kids over the summer. She willing to pay $120 a week + food. That will put me in at 480/mo. + my domino's check = about $ 700. Tips would have to be below average for me to not clear all my bills and have about 150-200 a month left over, but this is way less than I'd like to be working with. However, babysitting two well behaved kids affords me other opportunities. I would be free to make costumes all summer. If I could turn just $50 a week profit, which is a very reasonable goal, I could easily make it all happen very easily. Next year, I'm opting for year-round pay.
This will only work if nothing major (bad) happens.
I have found breaking my goals up into bite-sized pieces helps get them done. Here is the current list.
1. Move back into home.....done.
2. Get things organized, one room at a time.......getting there. kitchen is done, Living room is so close it is a non-issue, computer room is good. The back porch and spare bedrooms are both bad, but they will get there, I just have to pack away or throw away for the bedroom. The back porch will be last.
Even though it is difficult to let go of stuff when you are a packrat, there is a sense of releif when it is gone and you have beautiful clear spaces left. I should have a washer/dryer soon. That will make my life easier.
Next will be to get back to my education. It will all come to pass. I WILL take classes at ACC this fall to bridge myself into an education program at a 4 year college. I want to be ready to be a full time student some where by next fall, I will break the land speed record getting my BA and then I can really make some progress in my life.
Anyone can have goals, not everyone has the drive to achieve them.
Monday, May 09, 2005
sometimes........
I wrote a post for two hours today. I felt very good about it. I was going for clean-flowing, cohiesive content, and I felt I had really nailed it. My computer froze I'm distraught.
So no good content for you today. I'll try again tomorrow. Very tired, busy day, blah blah blah......
So no good content for you today. I'll try again tomorrow. Very tired, busy day, blah blah blah......
Friday, May 06, 2005
irony
One of my favorite quotes comes from the back of a type o negative cover. "never mistake lack of talent for genius" This quote gets to me in many ways. I don't know who originally said it, but the implications are deep for me. I think about this alot. Sigmun Frued, Adolf Hitler, and thier ilk. How many of them were just insane? How many people are touched, moved, and influenced by raving lunatics?
a crippled road runner....
I called my local cable company to re-install my internet access on Monday. I was so ready to open a portal of filth into my home. It's now Friday and still no connection. Tuesday it was a bad modem, next day I inspected the lines myself, I need a new line. The line was scorched in the fire at my house this January. I can't get a decent signal. Last night the people didn't come out. They said they tagged my door. Lies, all lies. They gave me a $20 credit to my account. I asked what account? I have be provided a service before I can have an account. I also said if it wasn't fixed today, I would take my buisness elsewhere. I didn't bother to mention I ran up quite a bill with the local DSL provider, and getting service might be tricky at best, it was paid off. I'm not THAT lousy a person. They might still have harsh feelings though.....
It is near the end of the school year, the natives are restless. I could care less, suspensions still send them home. I was told yesterday that if you care too much, it will burn you out. Funny, I really don't think too much about this place when I leave. I know that I have very little to do with these kids personal development. I just get them away from the kids who are behaving so that the others may learn. The ones I'm truely helping, I will never see. In that sense, I guess I'm like a prison guard. I've also noticed that these kids do not respond well to kindness. In thier hard little hearts, kindness is perceived as weakness, a trait I cannot have associated with my character.
I want a motorcycle. I miss riding.
I hope to get the plastic I need to start making my costumes next week. With any luck, I can start making them, put a few on ebay, and get some money rolling in about the time my school checks run out.
I have this weekend to finish getting settled in before they pull the giant dumpster, I hope to get my new washer & dryer soon. I have found that with all that I need to do to get fully moved in, I haven't missed tv or internet access that much. I do miss that internet........
It is near the end of the school year, the natives are restless. I could care less, suspensions still send them home. I was told yesterday that if you care too much, it will burn you out. Funny, I really don't think too much about this place when I leave. I know that I have very little to do with these kids personal development. I just get them away from the kids who are behaving so that the others may learn. The ones I'm truely helping, I will never see. In that sense, I guess I'm like a prison guard. I've also noticed that these kids do not respond well to kindness. In thier hard little hearts, kindness is perceived as weakness, a trait I cannot have associated with my character.
I want a motorcycle. I miss riding.
I hope to get the plastic I need to start making my costumes next week. With any luck, I can start making them, put a few on ebay, and get some money rolling in about the time my school checks run out.
I have this weekend to finish getting settled in before they pull the giant dumpster, I hope to get my new washer & dryer soon. I have found that with all that I need to do to get fully moved in, I haven't missed tv or internet access that much. I do miss that internet........
Thursday, May 05, 2005
intrest is relative
I now feel apathy will guide me through the darkest days of in-school suspension. I'm not too sure the ones that need my help the most even care about themselves. I often feel like some terrible judge, deciding who must be made an example of in order to maintain class cohiesion. I'd like to think when I try to help them understand, some of it sinks in. I hate that I can't try to stimulate them mentally and try to make them better people. It seems to be that they only respond when I'm being a complete jerk. I guess the cognitive level between preteen and adult is too much of a gap for me to relate.
Example: These kids are very social, what other kids think of them is everything. I stopped caring about the approval of others about 12 years ago and it has made all the difference.
If I were concerned with how they felt about me, I would be ineffective at my job. And I'm more concerned with my paycheck and all the things it provides. I would like to think one day someone will comeback and say they got what I said and it helped them. I'm not holding my breath.
Example: These kids are very social, what other kids think of them is everything. I stopped caring about the approval of others about 12 years ago and it has made all the difference.
If I were concerned with how they felt about me, I would be ineffective at my job. And I'm more concerned with my paycheck and all the things it provides. I would like to think one day someone will comeback and say they got what I said and it helped them. I'm not holding my breath.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Paul's Van
Paul was kind enough to let me borrow his '72 ford van to move my stuff. I really don't know what to think of it. She be a powerful van, and driving it is like taking an ass whooping, bad brakes, no power steereing, oddly rigged guages, most of which do not work. Oddly enough though, as useful as it is, I wouldn't mind owning it for a cargo van and it makes you overlook the short comings.
I know you'll read this, thanks.
Unfortunately, I never got the last item out of storage, a 7ft + 150 gallon aquarium. I'll either sell it where it is, or call in another favor. I have to bring it home I'll charge double.
I get cable internet today, Whoop! Now I can partake in all the filth the world wide web has to offer once again. Yay me.
Tomorrow marks my return to the role of DM. I'm running a one or two shot D&D game inspired by kung-fu movies. I think it will be fun, but easy. I already had most of the prep work done. Im a major league re-hasher and improviser. I hope they enjoy it. One time I had 3 separate star wars campaigns and I used the same Dark Jedi enemy every time. I wouldn't mind running for awhile.
I know you'll read this, thanks.
Unfortunately, I never got the last item out of storage, a 7ft + 150 gallon aquarium. I'll either sell it where it is, or call in another favor. I have to bring it home I'll charge double.
I get cable internet today, Whoop! Now I can partake in all the filth the world wide web has to offer once again. Yay me.
Tomorrow marks my return to the role of DM. I'm running a one or two shot D&D game inspired by kung-fu movies. I think it will be fun, but easy. I already had most of the prep work done. Im a major league re-hasher and improviser. I hope they enjoy it. One time I had 3 separate star wars campaigns and I used the same Dark Jedi enemy every time. I wouldn't mind running for awhile.
the spirit of George Carlin compells me........
I spent hours going through boxes, washing dishes, and arranging things and I've only sratched the surface. 31 years of being a pack rat is difficult to beat down. I notice my personal belongings fall into two two distinct categories: stuff & s**t. Stuff is good stuff like clothes I wear, furnture I use, whole things i need or use regularly or will use when the time comes (ie seasonal decoations or my knee braces). S**t is the stuff that has no use. Old magazines, worn out / outgrown clothes, parts to computers I have no intention of using again, hand me down kitch that's not my style, broken things I "might" repair one day. This crap does nothing but choke up living space, looks horrible, and makes you miserable. Sometimes, your posessions own you, not vise versa. I feel that when we hold onto the past too tightly, we miss out on part of the future. Besides, rich, successful people do not horde garbage, thier lives and thier homes are simplified. Thier wold is streamlined as much as possible to make thier way way easy as possible. How hard is it to get out of bed every morning when you have to trudge though last week's newspapers, last night's snacks, and last month's bills? We fight yesterday and let today pile up with it, and that makes tomorrow a struggle.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Pain part 2
I moved all my furniture in almost completely by myself and I'm now in pain. Or should I say I'm very sore? I'm quite happy with the place, and I hope to be finished unpacking soon. I won't be 100% moved in until I have internet access and a washer & dryer.
Today is a teacher workday. This is the day that I love. No kids in here. I hang around all day do pretty much nothing and get paid. The really works out well for me since the rest of the school year I don't even get regular breaks. I have about 20 minutes worth of paperwork left from not doing any for 3 weeks. It will have taken 1 hour & 20 min.
I'm tired, so tired. Even as I type that I know of weeks worth of things I must do to finish my house and I'll be off doing it within the hour. And many miles before I sleep.........
Today is a teacher workday. This is the day that I love. No kids in here. I hang around all day do pretty much nothing and get paid. The really works out well for me since the rest of the school year I don't even get regular breaks. I have about 20 minutes worth of paperwork left from not doing any for 3 weeks. It will have taken 1 hour & 20 min.
I'm tired, so tired. Even as I type that I know of weeks worth of things I must do to finish my house and I'll be off doing it within the hour. And many miles before I sleep.........
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Done
Over the nex week, I'll be moving back in. All will be back to "new normal" soon. I'm so happy.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
The frugal life.
I want to learn to live cheap enough that I can enjoy the quality of my life off one job, possibly supplementing my income by selling handmade stuff on Ebay. I want to be able to do things and go places, but not have all my cash lost on living expenses. I will ponder this deeply.
The Home Stretch
All the things the housing inspector turned my house down for has been fixed. if he comes today or tomorrow, I could be In by next Monday. The ceramic tile is setting as we speak and it looks awesome. My dad said "If you don't like the way that floor looks, I didn't raise you right." It was funny to me at any rate.
I see this whole ordeal as a turning point in my life. I want to be neat, organized, and most of all, proud of what I have. I've been thinking about making a formulaic change to my life based on my previous experiece in management. Keep it simple, never stray from what you know, if it's not useful get rid of it.
I'm going to try it and keep both my fans updated on my progress. :-)
I see this whole ordeal as a turning point in my life. I want to be neat, organized, and most of all, proud of what I have. I've been thinking about making a formulaic change to my life based on my previous experiece in management. Keep it simple, never stray from what you know, if it's not useful get rid of it.
I'm going to try it and keep both my fans updated on my progress. :-)
Monday, April 25, 2005
....and the Moon holds her sway.
This past Friday,I had a horrible day at work. The kids were restless. I suspended two of them and it did little to control the misbehavior. One of the teachers believed since were were close to a full moon and a storm was forecatsed, it made the kids act up. She says that everything that makes animals skiddish in nature also affect us the same way, we are just not always aware of it. I thought it was a very insightful opinion and I will try to document behavior and weather patterns to see how they corelate.
I have realized that although these kids are growing faster and have more "adult" knowledge than we did at thier age, they are still kids and will (for the most part) be controlled if handled properly. If you attempt to treat them like adults, they will act like wretched adults.
There are so many simple explainations to so many of life's mysteries. I feel we make things too complicated most of the times. The sad part is, most people are so used to having complicated solutions, that simple alternatives seem absurd. I've read forums in the past where a person has to express one thought in a 20 page, master's thiesis style post. I'm not saying I dislike long, thoughful prose. Well, I don't really. Say it, try to be funny and move on.
Joke time:
A priest, a rabbi, and a cowboy all walk into a bar together. The bartender looks up at them and says "Is this some kind of joke?"
buh-dum-bum
I have realized that although these kids are growing faster and have more "adult" knowledge than we did at thier age, they are still kids and will (for the most part) be controlled if handled properly. If you attempt to treat them like adults, they will act like wretched adults.
There are so many simple explainations to so many of life's mysteries. I feel we make things too complicated most of the times. The sad part is, most people are so used to having complicated solutions, that simple alternatives seem absurd. I've read forums in the past where a person has to express one thought in a 20 page, master's thiesis style post. I'm not saying I dislike long, thoughful prose. Well, I don't really. Say it, try to be funny and move on.
Joke time:
A priest, a rabbi, and a cowboy all walk into a bar together. The bartender looks up at them and says "Is this some kind of joke?"
buh-dum-bum
True pain
As I type this, I am sore in ways I had forgotten were possible. I was doing yardwork aound my soon to be completed home. I have always been a neglectful housekeeper. Now that I'm getting a fresh start, I'm wanting to do it right.
I watched the guys laying the ceramic tile do their thing. They were meticulous, friendly, and downright hilarious. I would invite guys like this to a cookout. Great attitudes and their sense of humor would keep things lively for hours.
Now that the last of the "qualifying" work has been completed, I should pass inpection to the point that I can get my lights on this week. If I can do that, I'm putting my bed & computer back and I'll slowly unpack. I'm losing the packrat side of me. I want to minimize the clutter and keep a house that I would be proud to have visitors.
It's really easy to say all this, but I guess I'll know in a week how easy it is too keep up all this new stuff.
I watched the guys laying the ceramic tile do their thing. They were meticulous, friendly, and downright hilarious. I would invite guys like this to a cookout. Great attitudes and their sense of humor would keep things lively for hours.
Now that the last of the "qualifying" work has been completed, I should pass inpection to the point that I can get my lights on this week. If I can do that, I'm putting my bed & computer back and I'll slowly unpack. I'm losing the packrat side of me. I want to minimize the clutter and keep a house that I would be proud to have visitors.
It's really easy to say all this, but I guess I'll know in a week how easy it is too keep up all this new stuff.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Tired
I'm so restless as of late, I find myself very lethargic during the day. My mind constantly returns to my home. I'm so excited to be returning. I love my family and friends, but it's so much nicer when you're not imposed on one another.
I skipped out on my evening job and I may quit altogether. Not enough money, not enough hours and the woman that runs the store is the antichrist. You know, I have no problems working with a female boss, my day job, the principal and assistant principal is a woman and we all get along wonderfully. They appreciate my work and I happily do whatever is asked. I think it has to do with the level of education. Assertive management has nothing to do with yelling, screaming, and gossiping about everyone. As a matter of fact, I think I enjoy the company of intelegent women more than anything else, might be why I have so many woman friends.
I hope to start my costume making today. If I get a good head start, with luck I could get enough money built up to make it through summer. I just need to sell something in such away that nobody else is offering as much at the price and still make a profit. I know I can, but will I be able to pull it off?
Teanative plans for costumes:
Boba & Jango Fett armor
Dr Doom full costume
Medieval Knight in full armor
possibly some warhammer 40k variant
I would like to make a giant (9 foot) robot costume, but I don't know if it will be cost effective to sell.
I skipped out on my evening job and I may quit altogether. Not enough money, not enough hours and the woman that runs the store is the antichrist. You know, I have no problems working with a female boss, my day job, the principal and assistant principal is a woman and we all get along wonderfully. They appreciate my work and I happily do whatever is asked. I think it has to do with the level of education. Assertive management has nothing to do with yelling, screaming, and gossiping about everyone. As a matter of fact, I think I enjoy the company of intelegent women more than anything else, might be why I have so many woman friends.
I hope to start my costume making today. If I get a good head start, with luck I could get enough money built up to make it through summer. I just need to sell something in such away that nobody else is offering as much at the price and still make a profit. I know I can, but will I be able to pull it off?
Teanative plans for costumes:
Boba & Jango Fett armor
Dr Doom full costume
Medieval Knight in full armor
possibly some warhammer 40k variant
I would like to make a giant (9 foot) robot costume, but I don't know if it will be cost effective to sell.
I want my home back
I should get my power back soon, end of the week. Then the serious preparations to return home. I've been moving all my boxes out of storage and I realized what a packrat I truely am. I got mad garbage that just needs to be tossed. Now rhat the carpet is fresh, walls are new and painted, my furniture will look like shit! Gonna have to fix that.
Robyn got really mad at me yesterday and I don't 100% know why and I never do anymore. I feel like if we can't go about our lives and do what needs to be done and not start a fight , we should part ways once and for all. I hate the thought of it, but may be it's time to move on. I don't feel like I can ever get us back to where we were before I fucked up. Yeah I took her for granted, I made her jump through hoops to be with me. My mom hates her and made it hard to be together. It made her bitter and angry. When I realized what I had done, and tried to make it up, it was too late. She doesn't want to let go and neither do I. I guess you can't fix broken hearts. I'm sorry, I wish I could take it all back, make it better, but it will never happen and she'll never get over it.
I think I'm ready for the next stage in my life. This one has lasted too long.
Robyn got really mad at me yesterday and I don't 100% know why and I never do anymore. I feel like if we can't go about our lives and do what needs to be done and not start a fight , we should part ways once and for all. I hate the thought of it, but may be it's time to move on. I don't feel like I can ever get us back to where we were before I fucked up. Yeah I took her for granted, I made her jump through hoops to be with me. My mom hates her and made it hard to be together. It made her bitter and angry. When I realized what I had done, and tried to make it up, it was too late. She doesn't want to let go and neither do I. I guess you can't fix broken hearts. I'm sorry, I wish I could take it all back, make it better, but it will never happen and she'll never get over it.
I think I'm ready for the next stage in my life. This one has lasted too long.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Hot damn a new Pope!
And the sad part is people are already criticizing him. I got one question for the nay-sayers: Are you Catholic? If yes, well guess what, he's your spiritual leader now, get over it. If no, shut the ---- up you piece of s**t. If you are not a roman catholic, it has very little to do with you. Yes the pope is a powerful political force, but he's not a president, he's not a supreme court justice. And all those cardinals do not give a flying hot d**n what you think and they picked who they though God told them to pick. I think it is great and exciting and I wish the man the best. I would be honored to meet him. I'd love to hear his take his past. Oh, yeah, he MIGHT have been in nazi youth. So ------- what? He was a german during the rise of hitler, they all were, ot they were killed. Do you even have a point about the man, one critical point or flaw in how he did his business in the last FIFTY GOD D*****D YEARS? no? nothing? when he was 11 he was a nazi youth? He's like, over 70, right? get over it. That is the lamest bunch of s**t I have ever heard. He doesn't need it, we don't want to hear it, he's got more important issues to deal with, like current issues. I hope the idiots get over themselves or go to Hell, which ever is easier. Forgive my nastiness in this post.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
The long awaited return home.
My house is almost ready to be inhabited again. Today, we are going to start moving my boxes of stuff back and get ready for my blessed return to single living. I might have a cookout. I will definitly celebrate in one form or another. So much to do, so little time to do it.
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