I now feel apathy will guide me through the darkest days of in-school suspension. I'm not too sure the ones that need my help the most even care about themselves. I often feel like some terrible judge, deciding who must be made an example of in order to maintain class cohiesion. I'd like to think when I try to help them understand, some of it sinks in. I hate that I can't try to stimulate them mentally and try to make them better people. It seems to be that they only respond when I'm being a complete jerk. I guess the cognitive level between preteen and adult is too much of a gap for me to relate.
Example: These kids are very social, what other kids think of them is everything. I stopped caring about the approval of others about 12 years ago and it has made all the difference.
If I were concerned with how they felt about me, I would be ineffective at my job. And I'm more concerned with my paycheck and all the things it provides. I would like to think one day someone will comeback and say they got what I said and it helped them. I'm not holding my breath.
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