I'm hatin' it

It is almost not worth being here, I hate it so much. This job might not be too bad, but it's either boring or frustrating and no mid-ground. If I didn't need the money, I'd be anywhere but here. I have a Cadillac to restore, a house to clean, and all sorts of other things I could be putting off right now if I were not at work.

I tried the last few days to try to sleep without the sleeping pills the Dr gave to help with my anxiety issues. Not too good. I can only assume Robyn was correct, in thatI have some sort of sleep apnia. Sadly, when you stop taking them, it is very hard to sleep. Great, now what? I guess I could take them until Spring break and give my body a week find it's balance again. I'm quite sure I don't have that many left, so we'll see.

Last night was like a nightmare-ish half-lucid, half-sleeping state. I was physically trying to sleep, and going to sleep, yet I was aware of time passing and of things happening in the house and still I was in a sort-of sleep state. The drugs they give you are horrible. Once they have you, they don't let go easily. Yet and despite my lament, I don't think I have slept so well or felt so good after waking since I was young. I don't believe I have ever felt so fully rested and ready to get up in the morning.

I feel guilty in a way, I've never been an advocate of medication and I feel the whole country is over medicated. Then I got to have a good night's sleep after having an anxiety attack and feel better than ever the next morning. I guess my opinion has been altered abit.... not entirely changed, but a bit relaxed.