Must write

Although I am emtionally drained, and it is late, I want to keep the commitment to updating my blog. I work with my ex g/f on my part-time second shift job. She is dating someone else and still seeing me on the side. It was refreshing, we had been dating a really long time and alot of really bad shit happened. We've been more like friends with alot of (fun) sexual tension. It was like old times before everything went wrong. I will say alot of it was my faultI was trying to "keep the peace" with my family, who hate her guts. And I have a twice a month hobby(D&D) that she can't stand. With a few other things I won't mention right now, there was so much arguing I couldn't see myself committing to the next level.
Tonight she needed my help, her car broke down and I went to her aid, as I always do and got her back on the road. She was grateful, flirty happy. It made me feel like Superman and I'd just saved the day. Within 20 minutes of that emotional high, I was crashing hard in all of the short commings that made her choose to break up with me in the first place. She wants to fix things. I do too, but I think there may be just too much to try and work out. I just took an hour pause from typing this to let her finish the argument over the phone. If I could have the Robyn I met all those years ago, I'd most likely jump at the chance. But I don't think she's that person, nor am I the person she met. I'm older, wiser, educated, and driven. I cut my long hair, I no longer see t-shirts as a fashion statement. I've softened up quite a bit. I was a crass bastard once. I still am, but with a better sense of tact. I don't know what will happen in the days ahead. I must focus on my objectives, and hope for the best, whatever that may be.