Smooooooooooth

Last Sunday night, I finally shaved my head, or should I say Robyn shaved it for me. I like the way it looks, not too sure anout how it feels yet. I've been curious for years. I'm not too sure anyone gives a damn what my head looks like. There's the initial shock value of everyone seeing it for the first time and that's fun. I got a little irritation on the back of my head and it was weird sleeping on it the first time.

I bought a headblade so I could do it my self. I realized after my next shave how much of an undertaking this new look could be. I should probably invest in an electric razor to keep my head touched up between razor shavings. Hell, I'm starting to wonder if a local barber will do a straight razor shave for "special occasions".

It goes back to my last topic of selling something to the world. There are so many products out there for people who shave their heads that it's almost silly. And I'm tired......

SPLOG

spam + blog = splog. Not an altogether new idea, I'm just bored and decided to write on it. It makes me realize that no matter what you do or have or want. Somebody wants to make money off of it. Usually they want to make money off of it in the most vile way possible.

Losing hair and feeling bad? Rogaine, Propecia, Hair Club for Men, toupees, vitamins, spray paint, hair plugs, and probably a thousand more.

Fat? You got diets, gyms pill, shakes, liposuction, and God knows what else.

Lonley? Take your pick, we got dating services, phone sex, porn....

The solution for anything that makes you feel bad about yourself is here and they make a gut punch with BS testimonials about how bad they felt before and how great they feel now. Operators are standing by to separate you from your hard earned money.

Just when I think it couldn't get much worse, I get splogs. Somebody rolls up and says "Hey! Love your blog. Very interesting. Check mine out." If do, it's a splog. They are trying to sell you something.

Even though my blog is a public forum for my personal thoughts, it feels like a personal violation when I'm here being open and honest and someone is trying to help me meet singles in my area. The sad part is it usually isn't even a person, but rather a program looking through blogs for keywords and sends spam out. Doesn't always work too well, one time I made a comment about going for a swim in water so cold it made me instantly flacid, I was splogged for viagra.

I guess it just comes with the territory. But if sploggers have ruined your blogging experience, email me for more more information on "splog-X" splog filter. Send no money now, operators are standing by.

Selling out pays well.

Saturday blah...

I've been laboring under the desire to be free on my Saturdays. Actually, I want the whole damn weekend. But having free Saturdays is a good start.

My idea is in consideration of all the things I can go do & get acomplished with the free time. I'd be just a bit closer to normal. I did everything I cared to do today, and now what? Robyn is at work and nobody really wants to do anything else. I'm too broke to go anywhere. I guess I could mow my lawn & clean up a bit. I could work on making my back porch less of a clusterfuck. I should have a great work truck to do just that very soon. I could go get a powerball lottery ticket and hope for the best.

If I win, then what? Sit around with nothing to do. I don't drink or smoke. I don't party or travel. So what then?

ranger diary update

My free wrecked truck runs and runs well. Seems like the body work to make it road worthy will be fairly cheap. I'm looking forward to it. Can it be possible that this could actually go well?

Dear online diary

After taking a week hiatus, Paul and I are back in the gym. I'm nice and sore too. Every three weeks or so, it's a good idea to take a week off to let everything rest and grow. I've lost 5 lbs.. I can only attribute the loss to the extra biking. I've been lax on it this week as the recent heatwave might kill me. I really would like to lose about 25 lbs before school starts. Five a week will more than do it.

On the topic of lifting, my wrists are starting to give me problems and I now have to wrap them to lift. I think I need my wrist wraps when I bike too. Now what to do about my achey shoulder. I guess I'm just not 18 anymore.....

Starting in August, I'll most likely join a real gym. I wanted to prove I'd actually do it, instead of wasting my cash on a membership. If so, I'll get my extra bedroom back.

I shaved my head. I like it, Robyn hates it. I'm tired of fighting my hair or lack thereof. I'm 32 and unfortunately more bald than a man my age should be. I'm sick of fighting it and it's kind of embarrassing too. My head is clipper shaved, not razor shaved. I'll probably try the old razor shave by Friday

the soon to infamous ranger diaries

By this weekend, I should have all three Rangers in one spot. The charred, the wrecked, and the altogether dysfunctional. From there, we see which to pick and choose from to create Frankenranger; an abomination made from the parts of dead Rangers. The story of Frankenstein ends in tragedy. Let's be optimistic.

This is to a site were a guy made a very nice Ranger V-8 conversion and shows a bit of what is involved. I may not do it now, but the end result look fun as hell.

Notes of a slow Sunday

I stayed up too late last night.
My legs feel like rubber and my ass feels like lead.
I was left with no change in the rgister....again.
I went next door to get the only $20 bill broken into a ten and two fives. I'm still screwed.
If I don't get any cash buisiness today, I won't be able to pay myself.

*yawn*

After lunch:
Coated in grease and sweat.
Working on putting tire on a rolling abomination. RA is winning.
People come in droves for two hours.
I barely get stuff ready to close in time.
Register is full of money.
Decent turn around, all things considered.
Can't leave fast enough.

*groan*

ranger diaries update

My new find, ranger #3 is salvageable. If it is in running shape as was mentioned before, we have a project truck. This could very well become the kick around toy truck I've been wanting since the first ranger. Oh, the visions and dreams going through my head.

half a life

A person very close to is very upset because she sees now that the person that has been like a father to her half her life is a hypocrit. She's benn scorned and spurned all of her life and never felt at home no matter where she was. I think that is the scource of all her shortcomings.

Sometimes step-kids have it rough. You never feel like you belong and half of what makes you what you are is not around. You have a step parent who loves your parent and usually either doesn't really care about you, or infact, hates you. Everything you do will be wrong because that step-parent cannot see themselves in you. Maybe that's why the people who made up religon said married people should stay together no matter what.

I feel her pain but I've learned to accept it. I know I can't change the people around me, or how they feel about me. That doesn't change me as a person or who I am. I refuse to feel bitter about what has happened or let it stop me from being the best person I can be.

Everybody's life is a little screwed up these days and it's getting harder and harder to know what normal is anymore. If it's at all possible, I want to find it and live it.

the ranger diaries

I think in my fervor to get a pickup, I've been drawn into the Ford Ranger Zone. It's kind of like the Twilight Zone, just as weird and full of twists and misfortune. Last night, Paul called and said "Hey, you interested in a free pickup?" The answer is HELL YEAH! I had to pull 500 marionette's worth of strings to make it happen, but an old face from the past came through. Thank you very much.

Ranger #1 1985 2.0 carburated 5-speed short bed - The body was in great shape, it just needed a little TLC and engine work, it even had an old set of Cragar wheels that were appropriate for the age of the truck. I gave $600 for it and at the time I felt it was worth it. I was going to re-do the interior, put in a spray-in bed liner, and paint the old bumpers & grill black. I would have eventually put in a 302 to make it a hot rod. It *would* have been a great little work truck.

It was hit in front of my house (on a damn dead end)and nobody claimed responsibility for the wreck. It was due to have the entire top end reworked and caught fire the day I was to take it there. Very little was salvageable, but I saved the truck just in case.

Ranger #2 1985 2.3 efi auto long bed - Bought this one for $200 It's flat black and the obvious problem is some random emissions problem that I neither have the time, money, or patience to repair. So it sits, mainly because the guy who might could repair it, would rather get the money from converting it to a V8 and that's just not an option right now.

Ranger #3 1985 (see a pattern?)2.0 carburated 5-speed long bed. The free truck. Who ever was working on this one had the same idea I had for #1. It had a newer models seats and door skins. It has front end wreck damage that may or may not be fixable. It seems to want to run, but I really don't know enough about it yet. The paint was a really cool shade of dark blue and if it runs, I'll have enough now to form Voltron! ....I mean make a single decent running truck. I won't know for awhile yet.

More to come

Workout journal...15 weeks

Four months in and going strong(er). I've expanded my cardio work to doing an hour or more of cycling 3 times a week. Hopefully the fat will come off now.

They say if you do it right, 6 months will be the major point at which the difference is noticable. Paul and I are at week 15, 11 weeks from the "big goal". I saw a website where a guy went from my weight & shape, to not too darn shabby in 6 months. It took him several years to get where he wanted to be,but he was looking pretty damn decent after 26 weeks.

The bad part is my wrists are getting to the point I need to wrap them. My left wrist started hurting first and I bought a wrap for it, next day, my right wrist is hurting! I wonder if this is what they meant by "no pain no gain"?

save money

I'm going to try to get a new car in August, so I need to start saving today. I have several ways I can save money.

1. Cut off my home phone. Think about it, do you REALLY need two phones? there's $50

2. I purchased cable TV. I don't need to watch TV and I was beter off without it. $45
*the sad part is, for about a $200 investment, I could rig it up to recieve free cable for as long as I had broadband internet*

3.I could give up Broadband and save another $45, but that ain't happening.

4.I can replace one daily meal with a sanwich from home in leiu of eating out and save anywhere from $85 - $150 monthly.

5. I stopped getting my hair professionally cut. I'm balding and it looks like crap no matter what I do. Set of clippers & $20 saved.

6. If I got really froggy, I could ride my bike for short trips and save $20 a month in gas.

7. Being a bit more stingy with my thermostat could get $20 or more off my power bill.

Potential saving could go as high as $240 a month. That would be more than enough to cover a car payment. Not to mention the cash I could save not driving a gas hog.

expert at nothing

I realized yesterday that although I have a broad and varied field of knowledge, I'm not really an expert on anything. I'd like to be the defintive "go-to guy" for something, but I'm not.

no lifeguard on duty, swim at your own risk.

I'm working several days at the shop this week for a guy who's going on vacation. So I get a decent piece of extra cash for this month and it's already spent.

I trying to teach Robyn's youngest child to ride a bike. I used to be an avid mountain biker when I was younger and I'm trying to get back into it. Not only am I remembering how much I liked it, I think it will help shape my body more into what I want to look like.

Speaking of body building, I've been growing and making gains, but it has been noted that my gut doesn't seem to be going anywhere and it's getting frustrating. I know it takes years of determined effort to make a complete change, but I'd like a bit of a taper at the waist to look better. People at school saw me an hour after a workout and noticed I was pumped up and that is great ego candy, but I want some big results.

Actually, I want something to make me feel good about myself. I'm balding, and have been for about 10 years, my hair looks bad no matter what I do to it so I just buzz it off. I'm fat and I'm broke, my credit is so rotten I can't get a decent car. It seems as though even though I've joined the Credit Union, if your credit history looks like you never pay off your credit obligations, you're too much of a risk for them. So I can't get out of my embarrassingly ugly car and have a decent vehicle.

Everything I want is going to take me two or more years to accomplish, and it's so damn frustrating because there is no guarantee it's all going to be alright.

They say that when you're drowning, after a few minutes of initial panic, your mind starts shutting down and pumps your body full of endorphins to calm you down. As you succumb from oxygen deprivation, you are in a euphoric state, aka high. No real importance other sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of bullshit.

I wonder if that's why people hit rock bottom, they see no way out of their problems and they succumb to apathy, drugs, whatever and just give up.

the misadventure continues.....

I want to try to compress my 3 day courses into two days for fall. The only elective I have should be movable. That is my only quip with school.

I've been putting off everything under the sun. I need to finish the work to my car, but I haven't gotten the initiative to do it.

This past Sunday I revived my mountain bike. I bought a GT Palomar in the early/mid 90's and never really got too much use out of it. Sadly, I had a Huffy that was a fraction of that bike and rode it silly. When I was mountain biking, I was in the best shape of my life. I want to rekindle my love of that activity and shed a few dozen pounds of blubber in the process. I never actually stopped liking the mountain biking, but hectic work schedules and my own laziness made it difficult to find time to keep up the hobby.

My workout program seems to be doing well. I'm right at the three month mark and I'm happy with the gains I've made, but I do need to lose some fat with it. Most of the "legitimate" workouts show decent results after 6 months of dedicated work. I hope to have that 6 month difference look about the time school restarts.

school's out, school's out!!!!!!

Last week I packed my stuff up and said farewell to GMS for the Summer. Although it pays a pathetic amount of money, I feel important there and I miss it terribly. During the Summer, I'm Mike, I stay at home all week and go pump gas on Sunday. During the school year, I'm Mr. Wilson, the ISS teacher and you better do what I say if you know what's best for you.

My end of year review was glowing, I expected as much. I'm very dedicated to my work.

I've always been competitive in such ways. I always want to be noticably useful in whatever I do. There has to be something I do better than anyone else. I can accept not being the best, but I always want to be among the best.

Summer becomes the time for projects and fresh starts. It's a time of reflection. I ask myself what I can improve upon next school year and move towards it.

who am i?

A very odd question for a 32yr old man to ask himself. Ever more odd the answer: I don't know.

I guess we're a puddle of genetic material mated to a life of experiences and how they form our actions and feelings.

I really don't know how to express my feelings to others. I've tried in the past and been hurt for the gesture. To a certain extent, I'm not sure I have feelings the same way other people do. I know the older I get, the less I care to share.

I've been told I am eligible for a student loan, so I go to college this fall. May 2008, here I come. I've dreamed of marching up there to get my degree for years. I'm ready to feel like I've done something with my life.

On Charles Darwin

I admire and respect Charles Darwin. The man said so much that is both accepted, quoted, and hated. He was not a showman like PT Barnum, but a scientist and philosopher. His theory on evolution is taught in classrooms today. Even over 100 years later, people talk about him and his work with the same fervor as they did when it was fresh.

Radical concepts that put God out of the context of explaining science. Survival of the fittest, over time, a speices changes to better fit its environment. This is true. The strongest and most fit survive to pass on their strong genes to the benefit of the species. This also is true.

At the website Paul and I created, Darwinized.com, we have a great portrait of Charles Darwin in the banner. It's so profound. The aged man has a harsh, weary, and seemingly disapproving stare. Like he's sick of everyone and everything. He seems to have been just sick of hearing everyones BS, and is saying "whatever, you're all idiots".

Almost all of the Darwinized.com videos are of someone being an idiot and getting hurt.....badly. I say to hell with it, pull all of the warning labels off everything and let the problem take care of itself. Passive eugenics, to quote George Carlin, is the name. Let the people too stupid to survive remove themselves from the gene pool.

evolution

Working on darwinized.com is changing my writing style. I'm not too sure it's a good thing, maybe it is.

I like writing commentary on the video clips, I feel like different person when I do it. Most of the time I'm an in-school suspension teacher (and to tell you the truth, I don't know how the Hell I wound up here). I have to talk a certain way, dress a certain way, behave in a certain way. When I comment on darwinized, I get to be crass, vulgar, and rude. I get to talk about the things I like. I can talk like I talk to my friends.

I guess it's important because I like it. There's something to be said about appealing to the lowest common denominator in us all. Those cheap, low shots are usually the most effective.

gulity pleasure numbs the soul

It's true. Wading through hours of video clips of people getting maimedas a result of thier own brainless actions kinda makes you feel less. I haven't been inspired to write here too much.

I think I've realized to get what I want out of life, I have to do things that don't agree with my morals. My life has so little to do with how I feel. I guess that makes me have little to say.

I could just be a bit tired and depressed. I think I'm catching a cold.