D&D

My new group just hit a high point last night. This has the potential to be the best gaming group in awhile. I'm actually looking forward to the next game. I've always liked RPG's and even when they weren't ran that well. But a good DM with enthusiastic players is a lot of fun. Last night was one of the most satisfying sessions I've had in a very long time.

Humor, drama, and action, all the things that make it great. All the players were feeding off one another. We actually split up three ways and it was still very engageing. It wrapped up with a climatic to be continued. Absolutely awesome.

The sad part is I may have to take a hiatus from gaming due to college. There is no question that D&D vs my education, there is no contest. I kinda hope there is a compromise. If not, I guess I'll take a 6 month hiatus and hope we're still playing.

Crammed

I realized yesterday that my posts were huge and had too many different things in them. For now, I'm altering my format to stick with on subject at a time. I'm trying to ever-improve my style and make my content a bit easier to read and I feel that cramming to much into a "dear diary" makes my stuff less interesting (if that's possible), so streamlining is the order of the day.

Solo flight to planet grease monkey

Sunday was my first day alone and oh what fun I had. Slow and boring, until 12:30 then five people came in at once. Two inspections and three Uhaul rentals. Both car failed initially and needed repair work. All the Uhaul people needed the dumbest questions asked and it took two hours to finish all of them up. The owner came in to help out, and all went smoothly. I think I did quite well, all things considered.

People drove up right about two minutes before close and wanted crazy stuff and to ask me about Uhauls endlessly. But I got a decent ammount of work finished, so it's all good. If there were any problems, I'm sure I'll hear all about it.

I can honestly see why people can find this kind of work stressful. So many people come in at once and there's nothing to be done to speed up the process of what's needed to get them on their merry little way. I knew at that on point I was giving rotten service, but I'm only one person. I just saw it as an inconvienience, not a short coming of my abilities

I like the money, and the side benefits of having the keys to a fully equipped garage.

Fryer grease, you light up my life.....

I've been really keen on the notion of getting a fryer grease diesel car. I thought about taking it to the next step: a vegetable oil powered home generator. Now that would be sweet. Cheap running car, no utlities that is frugal. If you were to live in an area with well water, it would be almost nothing exspense-wise.

My monthly expense rundown: (bear in mind these quotes are for my local living expenses)

Total electric utilities - $200
Gas expenditures - $140
Water bill - $30

Total = 370

In one year these can be in ballpark of $4000 . Can you imagine what you could do with that money? In a five year period you could potentially save 20K. Mind you, it would it would take a slightly different lifestyle. You'd have to spend a good chunk of time hunting down fryer grease & oil, and later purifying & store said fuel stuff. But wouldn't it be worth it? Think of what you could do with the savings. For a family of four, the projected five year savings estimate is $35,000. A 15 year year plan could put you at over 80k in savings. Imagine what that cash could do wisely invested.

the hamster effect

Sometimes I wonder what I've gotten myself into. A student said she was going to say I did something to try to get me into trouble. Of course she didn't say it to me directly, she bragged to another student. This student in turn told a teacher. Said teacher told me. I told the office. Nobody, other than me, seemed worried. Gee, it's only my career, why worry? This could also be construed as they have so much faith in me it is a non-issue. I might be too much of a pessimist.

In 1993, in high school, I was witness first hand to what a few girls with mailicious intent can do to a teacher. A girl lied about an incident ( I was there and saw what happened) claiming a young, first-year male teacher made an inappropriate advance. She had three friends who were in that class back up her story. He was on the front page of the newspaper and was on "administrative leave". He was guilty before he even went to trial. I don't want that.

This is the first time in four years I've seriously considered a career change. In two years, I'll have a degree in forensic biology with a concentration in criminal justice. Perhaps I should just go into law enforcement. I could work for the state's crime lab. In law enforcement, you can beat the hell out of them if they are non-compliant.

paradigim shift

I am well aware I put myself in the situation I'm in. Broke, out of shape ect. I'm more than willing to work my way out of this rut. It just seems so daunting a task.

I see a certain amount of futiity n my job these days. Nobody ever seems to get better. They all get in trouble again and come back to me again. I work them to no end, they still can't behave in class. I was a complete jerk when I was their age too. I did just mean things I regret to this day. Like in 4th grade when we were getting crushed in baseball, a little girl named Amanda hit a one in a million shot and got a home run. That should have been her moment of glory....should have been. When she rounded second base, past me, I tripped her. She skinned up both her knees and her forearm. She liked me quite a bit and it made her cry. My punishment was I had to sit out the last of the game and get silent lunch. .

As an adult, I feel a certain deep remorse for that act. I appologized and she accepted, but we were never really good friends after that. I felt like the status quo. Just ruining someones wonderful, shining moment for the sheer fact that I was mad that it wasn't me. Like keying someone's band new car the day they get it, or running through a sand castle at the beach. I deserved to be hated, and I was.

The funny thing about being a hated outcast, it makes a very nice chitinous shell around your emotions. My personality was tempered by years of abusive relationships. I think my fall from grace was in 8th grade. I tried to be good, to be a good, God - fearing little boy. 8th grade was not a good year for me. After being in private school for three years, I was sent to the worst school in the area and the kids just ate me alive. It was the most miserable time of my life. Then my Grandmother died. I was keeping the faith. I knew God was testing me and I had to stay strong, just like Job in the Bible. Then she died. I prayed and prayed and cried and prayed some more. I wanted to make sense of it all. Then it hit me.There is no sense to be made. It isn't fair and it never was. Good has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Well, yes it does. Good is important, but that has nothing to do with churches or books that contradict themselves.

The some of kids who made my 8th grade experience pure hell were church goers too. God didn't tell them to treat me nicely. God told them to beat me up for my lunch money. Obviously God wasn't talking to both of us. My conscience was talking to me, and they either ignored theirs or never had one. When you pray, it is an emotional wash cycle. You feel better and cleaner, until you go out to play again and soil your conscience.

I spent 30 years wanting to believe in God. Maybe there is a God and he got mad and quit. He only wanted Sunday off and we couldn't even give him that. So he said I ain't doing 7 days a week. This place can go to Hell as far as I'm concerned. And it has.

Maybe God is just our conscience. That little nagging voice that tells us if we're doing the right thing. Just listen to your conscience and you'll do just fine. What about those with no conscience to speak of?

the car racket

I think Paul had a great idea. Clean up old beaters and sell them at a premium. I'd like to do biodiesel cars, but whatever makes money would be cool.

Coke Blak = Me Yak

I had an impulse to buy a bottle of Coca-Cola Skat, I mean Blak last Sunday. I like a lot of coffee-flavored things. Ice cream, frappacino, and those frozen drinks the book store sells. I was kind of intereste to see what a coffee-flavoed soda would taste like, and I sure found out......it tastes like ASS! I would not be surprised if a few shallow graves were dug outside the Coke Co. R&D facility after this tasty little treat was unveiled to the board of directors. It seems like a frat prank gone wrong. I have to believe they just gave up on this one. It suxs. Quite possibly the worst things I have ever ingested. I could not finish an 8-oz bottle. It was as if pure evil had been given a flavor, and that flavor is Coca-Cola Blak. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go boil my toungue.

Grease monkey fun

I forgot that being a cashier can be fun. A guy came into buy boxes and after the price quote he asked if they were lined with gold. I said no, but I fill them to the top with happy thoughts. My co-worker thought I was hilarious at least....

U-Haul rentals are also fun. People are mad as hell when they go to rent a moving van and find the prices outrageous. Renting a UHaul truck for two days is much cheaper than buying a box van or hiring a moving company. Still people expect certain things for free.

Working with the public reaffirms my long-held belief that I hate people. Loud, ignorant, insensitive, selfish, over-bearing people that walk around with a sense of entitlement and a chip on their shoulder. The type of people who walk around, acting like everyone owes them something. They all rent UHauls.

Although the job itself is rather simple, I can see where it would be trying. But not everyone is horrible, I met a very nice older woman that works as a prison guard that had a nail in her tire. Seems kind of odd that she would wear make-up to such a job. Hmmmmmmm.....


On the exercise front, I'm always wanting to try new things to improve my results. The sad part is, I've not really been doing this long enough to notice any real results from anything. I am becoming more aware of my general nutrition. I'm chugging down a lot of water, milk, multivitamins, and protien powder. I'm hoping for the "6-month difference" and the "one-year wow-you're-not-the-same-person pictures". I'm pretty serious, and I'm doing what I know how to do, but I don't know how great my long term results will be.

results!!!!

A co-worker at school asked me if I had been losing wieght today. I'm so happy. I think the milk and sensible breakfast is making a huge difference.

I checked out a private gym out in the country that is way nicer than I could have imagined. I mean fully equipped. If Paul and I exceed the home gym's capacity, it will be my first choice.

I might just up my cardio to expidite my fat loss. I can wait for huge arms, I want the belly gone yesterday!

calories & math

I've learned the calorie formula recently. For men, body wieght x 10 - 15 = caloric intake. The 10 - 15 varies for physical exertion (how much you exercise).

example: me 250 x 13 (I workout 3 times a week, fairly intense) = 3250 calories/ day that is a lot to choke down, but when you consider that one of my favorite thing food-wise is to eat an 8 piece box of Bojangles fried chicken with two buiscuits and that can hit 3k easy. Hell, the two piece box with fries, buscuit, and sweet tea can run 1600. But oh God, it's sooooo good.

Anyway, I have to consume 3,250 calories daily to keep a wieght of 250 lbs. So if I have an ideal wieght, say 200 lbs. I must consume no more than (200 x 13 = )2600 calories a day. Eating normally (out) can make that difficult. The best idea is to workout more and increase you metabolic rate say 200 x 15 = 3000. Let's just say I just exercise more, 3250 / 15 = 216. An athletic 216 lbs is nothing to sneeze at. I think I'd like to eventually be around 180. To reach this goal, I'll need to take in between 2160 - 2700 depending on the intensity of my activity.

3 day split

Paul and I are in our first week of the three day split workout. We have now started our 6th week of working out. Whereas I cannot see any difference in my body, I can feel a difference in my overall condition. My stamina is increasing, my strength is returning, I sleep like a baby, and I have a greater desire to accomplish stuff. I really wanted to improve my health, and I have been. Now I'd like to see some of these improvments. I guess I have to get my body fat down.

I have a pretty good beakfast routine, I eat oatmeal, have a multivitamin, and drink a glass of milk with a scoop of whey protien in it. I need to work on lunch as I have no routine for it, I should probably plan for some salad. I drink a lot of water, 64 - 100+ oz. daily. If I don't eat out with Robyn, I usually just do either chicken or pork chops with plain rice. On workout nights, I do extra protien supplement before bed. I hope I'm growing muscle while I sleep.

I'm pretty sure I'm well on my way to looking and feeling the way I've always wanted. Even two days after my last workout, I'm still muscle sore. The weight is a concern too, I'm gaining. I guess I should diet I'm up to 248, but I feel very good. I guess it will come. If a man if 250 out of shape, it's ugly. If he's 250 of muscle.....wow. I really don't think I can be 250 fit, but I'll see what's up in 6 months.

Discipline in schools

As many people know, I am an In-School Suspension (ISS) teacher. I think about child behavior and how to make kids act properly in school. I don't think the problem is all the kids. The parents of misbehaving children need to beheld accountable for their children's actions.

I don't know about you, but I only wear my seabelt because I hate those $75 tickets. You have to hit them in the wallet.

My idea: For kids who are constantly absent/ tardy for school, unexcused past 5 a quarter gets a fine to the parents. If a child is a constant discipline problem, and it seems as though the parents are not taking adequate steps to teach their childen to behave, then on the next tax season, the parents won't be allowed to claim the children on their income taxes. Failure to attend meetings for school issues is a warrant-bearing offense just like failure to appear in court.

You make it a hassle for them to not raise their kids and you'll notice a difference.

Also, not disciplining kids seems to make them angry and poorly adjusted. I have seen the before and after both ways.

on child support

Just yesterday, I posted on my concept of a real man. You can tell alot of full grown children made babies from the lack of child support. I don't see what the big deal is, it was so important to make the babies, why not raise them to be good adults? At the very least pay for them so thier mom's can raise them.

Why? Because they can get away with not taking care of the responsibility they made.

I have a solution. Make failure to support your children a felony. You're up for non support? No jail. You're going to PMITA prison. Tell al the other inmates that he's a child molester. If the deadbeat survives about 6 months of that, I'll bet he'll do whatever is needed to get his children what they deserve. If they murder him in prison, the kids get SSI checks and college tution assisstance. At least they'll have a better chance than with Mr. Deadbeat. Either he makes a good example or we make a good example out of him.

give 'em an inch........

I've learned one valuable lesson in my time working with kids: Set the standard of expectations high. There is no other way to prepare students to be achievers. Not to mention middle school students rarely try to exceed expectations. If anything they excel in attempting to fall short, or to see how much they can "get away" with.

This past week our school loosened the dress code for students. They are allowed to wear shorts so long as they are at least to the knee and not gym-style shorts. Today we have gym shorts dress code violations.

My only argument is that as educators, we have a responsibility to prepare these students for their adult lives. Life does not offer compromises. The power company won't "cut you some slack", they'll just cut off your lights.

Middle school prepares you for life. The rules are stict, students are harsh with each other and it's pretty dismal. The people who suceed are the ones that cut a niche out for themselves.

But if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile.

real man.....

I've been saturated from birth by what a real man should be. These concepts that our culture holds dear, that a real man should be tough, strong, protective of his home and family, handy with tools, sports loving, beer drinking, keeps the kids in line, and handles the buisness in general. A real man comes home after all this and doesn't complain about his life.

A real man needs to be then tough one at home too, he's the griller, the carpenter, the landscaper, and the mechanic. The real man is the bread winner and the home provider and would rather be beaten to death rather than have another man handle his buisness. A real man has a wife, not a baby's momma, he doen't have to travel farther than across the house if he wants to see his kids. The real man does things that his kids admire and they want to be just like him. He seems like a genious, taking apart complex things that no longer work and make them function "as good as new".

A real man gives to his family first, himself last. He knows that people see him not by how he looks, but by how his kids look. And he does it all for no reward other than knowing he's doing the right thing, his family loves him for it, and that's good enough for him.

That was always my idea anyway. I don't see alot of those anymore. Daddy's still doing his thing, Mommy is somewhere else struggling to keep it together and the kids suffer. There are a lot of full grown boys out there that never take on the honor of being a real man. Doing so, he never finds his real woman, and if he finds her, he leaves her because it's "too much to handle".

I've seen what happens too often when a male adult refuses to be a man and it's sad the damage a full grown child can do in a man's body. He gets a woman pregnant, creates an obligation, and abandons it. And though he may leave he still teaches his child how to be his version of a man. They learn to run when it gets too tough, never to live up to the full potential they have.

My Mom's first mariage was to a boy, and they had me. Her second marriage was to a man, I call him Dad. He stuck it out over all those years, good, bad, and worse. He taught me what a real man does for his family. He taught me that when you love a woman that has children, they are a part of the package and you take care of them as your own. He's not perfect, but I always knew his values were in the right place and the fact he tried was good enough. I would not be where I am today without his example.

So to John Wilson, thank you.

NC inspection license

As part of my new job as a Sunday grease monkey, I have to become a certified vehicle inspector. It was great way to clog up my evenings during my spring break. Not too shabby however, it was very amusing the first two nights and quick the last two. After seeing it first hand, I now feel it's all a sham. But ripoffs are great if you're the one on the take.

Yeah, yeah, it's good to make sure a car is not a death trap, but being a death trap afficianado, I think rattletraps are getting a bad rap.

Anyway, the stuff is super easy, it's all computerized. The stuff you need to look for is in a reference book under the computer. On the visual inspection, you upsell everything you can. Fuses, light bulbs, oil changes, fresh air in the tires.....

I've worked in a few convenience stores in my day, but never an actual service station. I think it will be ok. I think I can benefit there much better than I did at Best Buy.

Spring break? From what?!?!?!?1?!?

This whole past week has been my "break". Break from work? I love my job. At school, I'm important, needed, respected, and somewhat feared. I want a break from reality. The one where I'm a broke-ass that can't seem to get it together. The one where I drive a basket case of a car, and can't seem to get a break at all. This week I get a full dose of it.

College is 2k a semester. Don't know which ass I'm going to pull that out of, certainly not my own. I looked for loose change last week....nothing. I am, however, accepted ,registered and I even have my first schedule. I feel like I'm trying to climb a house of cards. One mistep will send me and everything I've worked for tumbling down.

During our spring break, Paul and I have taken a rest from lifting. We're going to start back with a more advanced routine. I've felt a difference and Robyn says she's starting to notice the difference. My gut is still huge in the way you think of gods as being big. I guess I'll have to take what I can get for now.

On our last workout I told Paul I was considereing shaving my head since I'm so bald anyway. He said you might as well, you're pretty much there now. I guess he's right. I keep my hair, what's left it, very short. I'm waiting until after June 7th (last day of school) to do it.


Robyn rented a car to visit a friend of hers. A new Ford Explorer. Now as much as I would prefer have another vehicle, it ain't too bad. It is possible that my idea of a nice car has been skewed. An intact windshield, a/c, and a stereo puts it into Bently status for me.

The seven week stretch before summer vacation starts this next Tuesday. Oh, the joy begins.

so little time/ cash so much to do......

I must admit, before I leave Best Buy for good, I want to put a new stereo in my car. The darn thing will never look good, but in the next two years driving back & forth to college, I'd like something nice to listen to while on the road.

I complied a list of what I nee to make the car good for my needs. They are:

1. Stereo & speakers
2. Air conditioning
3. Carpet
4. New gear select cable
5. Mufflers

All in all, about $350 - $600 to make it plush. It will still be ugly, but comfy to drive. It's a darn shame I can't salvage the body. It could be pimped out nicely. Not that I pimp out cars, but it could.......

If the car hold up well, When I get a newer car, I plan to put the drivetrain in my ranger that may never move again on it's own. It confuses me to no end how this truck could be made to run down the road by my tinkering and after one day, I cannot duplicate the results. Harmon wants the big bucks involved in doing an engine swap, which would probably run well past $1,000 before I "clean it up". I'm starting to consider just getting a good pickup when I finish school.

Last night I hit a milestone in my workout. I did squats. My knees have been shot for 10 years and since I pretty much gave up on workouts because due to injury, I couldn't do my two exercises: squats & deadlifts. Twelve years ago, my routine was five days of cardio workouts and two wieght training days. I either jogged, bicycled, or jumpped rope. On lifting days, I did bicep curls, squats, dead lifts and ab crunches. It worked for awhile, I was pretty skinny. Even when I was getting chubby, it wasn't jack compared to what I am now.

I'm feeling my body change now. My muscles remember what isolation exercises feel like. I'm starting to be able to work the groups of muscles I need to for each exercise properly. I feel sore where I know I should feel sore. When I lifted last night, I felt the muscles burn when they were supposed to.

I started upping the protein too. After much study on good supplements, I came to a conclusion: I'm not ready for the powders, mixes, and power bars. I'm going another route. I drank milk. An 8-ounce cup of milk has 8 grams of protein. After I started cooling down, I drank a 16-ounce glass and had a snack. Before I went to bed, I had another glass of milk. The proteins in milk are supposed to be slower acting proteins that your body absorbs over a longer stretch of time, several hours. I'll try this for awhile and see if it makes a difference.

I was told the human body can put on 1 pound of muscle a week. Hell, I'll take half a pound right now. But If I could build a pund a week, I'll be losing 3-5lbs of fat every week too. If I can make that a goal, I'll be on target to me looking right come my birthday. By the start of the next school year, I should be in the best shape of my life.

I want, just once in my life, to go up to someone, flex, and say "Put down the dictionary, I've got the definition right here." or "Somebody grab the sewing kit 'cause I'm ripped" and it actually be true. Now I'm more like a malprop.

cash struggle

I'm trying to intentionally go skimpy this month so I can afford a few things from Best Buy before I quit. Namely, I want a stereo for my car, After that, I'm done with them.

I got my cat Friday, her name is Trinity. She a black domestic short hair and very personalble. She was very shy when she was first left with me, but quickly warmed up. She likes to sleep in the bed too. Whoever owned her last fed her people food, she's all over me when I'm eating.

It looks as though I'm going to the beach next weekend. I'm looking forward to a few days off. In a couple of years. I'll be able to go more places, take real vacations with Robyn.

I gave away my lazyboy recliner to Paul. He needs it more than I do and I have too much furniture as it is already. Now don't get me wrong. I like it, I just have no place to put it. I won't lose the leather recliner, which is a close second favorite. It only won because it matches what I already have. There is so much more to get rid of too. Sometimes, your posessions own you. They control your life.

It's getting to yard work season again. I'm going for broke this year. I'm going to get it all staightened out. Everything must go.