I didn't want it bad enough. I thought I did, but I didn't. I have to push myself to get where I need to be.
I get to thinking about getting in "prime" shape. I like the term prime. Great things are prime. Prime real estate, prime rib, Optimus Prime, back when I was in my prime.
I realized the other day I never had a prime. 17-30 went in a blur with nothing great to show for it. I look up one day and I'm a fat, bald, and way out of shape. If I get into shape, it will be the closest to a prime I've ever had.
I'm okay with that.
I changed my name when I got my BA because I feel like a new person and I felt the ties to my old life were holding me down. There are more reasons too, but we won't go there now.
I don't know how long it will take to get where I need to be to meet my goals, but I know it took a lifetime of bad choices to get here and it will have to be a lifestyle change to get away from it.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
How bad do you want it.
My mantra from college is revisited. Failure is not an option. Now I add: "How bad do you want it?".
It's cold outside and I'm weary. That's a long 3 miles to run. Yeah? How bad do you want it? Now in this job market, there are many people who want it as bad as I do and they are in a much better position to take the prize. I have to make myself stand out among the masses. How bad do you want it?
I have 9 weeks to prove I want it more than anyone there. I started hard, I finished week one strong. I didn't miss a workout or skimp a corner. I must do my best. Tomorrow is a new week. Week 2.
It's cold outside and I'm weary. That's a long 3 miles to run. Yeah? How bad do you want it? Now in this job market, there are many people who want it as bad as I do and they are in a much better position to take the prize. I have to make myself stand out among the masses. How bad do you want it?
I have 9 weeks to prove I want it more than anyone there. I started hard, I finished week one strong. I didn't miss a workout or skimp a corner. I must do my best. Tomorrow is a new week. Week 2.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Chapter 2 update
The next part of my saga has been hard to want to write. I think that's because it deals with a lot of failure and me not knowing where to go from there.
I'm thinking I really want to get into writing again, so I'm going to try to do daily updates to stretch out my mind. I'll break it up into bits of relevance and try not to flail and ramble aimlessly.
Yesterday, I started my serious 10 - week workout. 3 times a week. Goal? Be able to run 3 miles, be able to do 50 + push ups and sit ups. Losing weight is not a goal at this point, fitness is.
Why now? I am going to do a tryout for a local police department. At 35 years old, I'm in steep competition. I have guys 10 years younger, former and current athletes, former military, and people who have previously taken police training. Current and former officers are going to get the nod before me. I know this. I have a college education that screams "I love Law Enforcement". I have work ethic most 20-somethings won't have. I look like the guy who's going in for his last career. If I can train now to get the above the level of fitness they want to see, I'm going in with a fighting chance.
I'm thinking I really want to get into writing again, so I'm going to try to do daily updates to stretch out my mind. I'll break it up into bits of relevance and try not to flail and ramble aimlessly.
Yesterday, I started my serious 10 - week workout. 3 times a week. Goal? Be able to run 3 miles, be able to do 50 + push ups and sit ups. Losing weight is not a goal at this point, fitness is.
Why now? I am going to do a tryout for a local police department. At 35 years old, I'm in steep competition. I have guys 10 years younger, former and current athletes, former military, and people who have previously taken police training. Current and former officers are going to get the nod before me. I know this. I have a college education that screams "I love Law Enforcement". I have work ethic most 20-somethings won't have. I look like the guy who's going in for his last career. If I can train now to get the above the level of fitness they want to see, I'm going in with a fighting chance.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
feed or famine
Usually, any type of construction work is feast or famine. At the level I'm paid, it's squeak by or don't. Rain and holidays have made for some miserable conditions.
I've come to realize I really don't mind truck driving as much as I thought I would, but I'd be a fool to not want more for myself. I will grant it has made me lose some weight, which helps with my fitness.
I've come to realize how much going to the chiropractor was helping me. It's a damn shame I no longer have insurance.
Last week, we had three cats. Today we have one. Old age/ sickness got one and a car got the other. This was a very hard thing to deal with.
I have a lot of opportunities coming up, too damn bad they are all in the 6 month to a year range.
I've come to realize I really don't mind truck driving as much as I thought I would, but I'd be a fool to not want more for myself. I will grant it has made me lose some weight, which helps with my fitness.
I've come to realize how much going to the chiropractor was helping me. It's a damn shame I no longer have insurance.
Last week, we had three cats. Today we have one. Old age/ sickness got one and a car got the other. This was a very hard thing to deal with.
I have a lot of opportunities coming up, too damn bad they are all in the 6 month to a year range.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
My return
I haven't written in awhile. I have a job now. It will keep us afloat, but not moving forward. It gives me a chance to try to ride out the shitstorm. I know now that I lost a lot of job interviews based on my credit past. That is fixed now, and I can pounce on the next opportunity.
I was told by a person whose opinion I typically respect that I might be aiming too high. I can't agree with that. I think right now, jobs are scarce and I have to take what will pay me, but I know I am meant to do more and I will always try to do better.
In some ways, I feel bad. I know that I should be very grateful for my current job, and I am. I am not doing what I set out to do and I have invested too much into this to not chase this to its end. Sadly, I'll most likely be doing what I am currently doing for the next year.
All that being said, I consider myself very lucky. I am here. I am doing well enough for the situation I am in, and that is all for now.
I was told by a person whose opinion I typically respect that I might be aiming too high. I can't agree with that. I think right now, jobs are scarce and I have to take what will pay me, but I know I am meant to do more and I will always try to do better.
In some ways, I feel bad. I know that I should be very grateful for my current job, and I am. I am not doing what I set out to do and I have invested too much into this to not chase this to its end. Sadly, I'll most likely be doing what I am currently doing for the next year.
All that being said, I consider myself very lucky. I am here. I am doing well enough for the situation I am in, and that is all for now.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Update....
Hard job market. I have about enough money left to pay one more month of bills and only bills. With both my wife and myself unemployed, it has lasted longer than I thought. Tomorrow, my school goes back to work. I am almost depressed to know I won't be there after I put so much of myself into it. I wasn't given the chance others were given in the past and I know it. I just figured I'd have job security if I stayed with the state. How wrong I was...
The ghost of credit fraud past has come back to haunt me, mainly in the form of great interviews and turn downs based on my poor responsibility shown on my credit score. The only poor judgment I have made there is not taking the villian who did this to me to task. I only have a few weeks to fix it before I start going back to the rejections that said they would reconsider me if I were to fix my credit. I have a wife, a home, and step-children who need me to be pulling down a decent living wage. I won't hesitate to do what ever needs to be done within the law to remedy this issue once and for all.
I've been working out for about two weeks now. I got the Power 90 in-home boot camp from a friend of my wife. It is the predecessor to the current infomercial darling : P90x. It has the same basic Idea with working out 6 days a week for 90 days. I don't like the fact that they try to hock their supplements to you. Take a vitamin and watch what you eat. You would be amazed what you can do health-wise with little to no "supplements".
As far as diets go, I liked Weight Watchers and Atkins. I lost 30+ with the first an 45 with the other. The thing I liked about WW, is that you could buy the frozen dinners and they were not bad at all, or expensive for that matter. I could use the online tools to measure my days. That bad is trying to count points when life gets hectic and you can't plan out your meals.
I liked Atkins because of how it made me feel. Basically, there was very little math and just a very difficult 2 week induction period where there were just things you could not eat, and after that you introduce the "no-no" foods back in moderation. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and steaks for dinner. How great is that? The downside is that everyone who know jack about health and nutrition gives you shit every day all day as to how badly you are treating your body while all your pain, health issues, and fat rolls go away.
Sadly, nutrition is like religion. There is a different opinion for every person and usually the opinions are grossly uninformed.
What is the secret? Consume fewer calories than you need you lose weight. Consume more calories than you need, and you gain weight. Eat foods that fill you up without the extra calories.
The ghost of credit fraud past has come back to haunt me, mainly in the form of great interviews and turn downs based on my poor responsibility shown on my credit score. The only poor judgment I have made there is not taking the villian who did this to me to task. I only have a few weeks to fix it before I start going back to the rejections that said they would reconsider me if I were to fix my credit. I have a wife, a home, and step-children who need me to be pulling down a decent living wage. I won't hesitate to do what ever needs to be done within the law to remedy this issue once and for all.
I've been working out for about two weeks now. I got the Power 90 in-home boot camp from a friend of my wife. It is the predecessor to the current infomercial darling : P90x. It has the same basic Idea with working out 6 days a week for 90 days. I don't like the fact that they try to hock their supplements to you. Take a vitamin and watch what you eat. You would be amazed what you can do health-wise with little to no "supplements".
As far as diets go, I liked Weight Watchers and Atkins. I lost 30+ with the first an 45 with the other. The thing I liked about WW, is that you could buy the frozen dinners and they were not bad at all, or expensive for that matter. I could use the online tools to measure my days. That bad is trying to count points when life gets hectic and you can't plan out your meals.
I liked Atkins because of how it made me feel. Basically, there was very little math and just a very difficult 2 week induction period where there were just things you could not eat, and after that you introduce the "no-no" foods back in moderation. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and steaks for dinner. How great is that? The downside is that everyone who know jack about health and nutrition gives you shit every day all day as to how badly you are treating your body while all your pain, health issues, and fat rolls go away.
Sadly, nutrition is like religion. There is a different opinion for every person and usually the opinions are grossly uninformed.
What is the secret? Consume fewer calories than you need you lose weight. Consume more calories than you need, and you gain weight. Eat foods that fill you up without the extra calories.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Book 2
I guess now my life has taken a few turns, and now there is much to do.
Due to cutbacks in state funding, pretty much all first year teachers have lost their jobs. This includes me. At a time where I would be lying back and looking forward to a long Summer vacation, I now have to actively seek a job. I have two months to try to find meaningful employment.
Skills:
Mechanical Aptitude
Teaching Experience
Managerial Experience (food service)
Customer Service Experience
Bachelor's Degree: Forensic Biology/ Criminal Justice concentration
Soon to have CDL license
I am well rounded. I guess I just need to get my ass in gear and make it happen.
Sadly, the easiest solution will be the most elusive. I have seen that the local police department is interested in hiring people like me, but I have to get the training on my own time. That spare time, depending on my next job, will too rare of a commodity. Going to the next city that offers paid training is the next best solution. My vehicle is crumbling as we speak. It won't make the daily trip.
I have been offered a job driving a dump truck just as long as I can get a CDL endorsement. Not my ideal job, but it is money at least for the Summer, and I am grateful.
The part that pisses me off about the whole thing is that I have dedicated 7 years of my life to education. First as a substitute, then an ISS coordinator, finally as a science teacher. In the end, a back room decision was made to make me look bad as a teacher. The truth is my students learned as much as anyone else in the school system and my test scores showed it.
Take my job, take my security, but damn it...damn you, don't try to take my sense of worth too. I knew I did good, and I was told I didn't. Just to save some money.
God bless you, I can't
Due to cutbacks in state funding, pretty much all first year teachers have lost their jobs. This includes me. At a time where I would be lying back and looking forward to a long Summer vacation, I now have to actively seek a job. I have two months to try to find meaningful employment.
Skills:
Mechanical Aptitude
Teaching Experience
Managerial Experience (food service)
Customer Service Experience
Bachelor's Degree: Forensic Biology/ Criminal Justice concentration
Soon to have CDL license
I am well rounded. I guess I just need to get my ass in gear and make it happen.
Sadly, the easiest solution will be the most elusive. I have seen that the local police department is interested in hiring people like me, but I have to get the training on my own time. That spare time, depending on my next job, will too rare of a commodity. Going to the next city that offers paid training is the next best solution. My vehicle is crumbling as we speak. It won't make the daily trip.
I have been offered a job driving a dump truck just as long as I can get a CDL endorsement. Not my ideal job, but it is money at least for the Summer, and I am grateful.
The part that pisses me off about the whole thing is that I have dedicated 7 years of my life to education. First as a substitute, then an ISS coordinator, finally as a science teacher. In the end, a back room decision was made to make me look bad as a teacher. The truth is my students learned as much as anyone else in the school system and my test scores showed it.
Take my job, take my security, but damn it...damn you, don't try to take my sense of worth too. I knew I did good, and I was told I didn't. Just to save some money.
God bless you, I can't
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